Thursday, June 21, 2007

O can I be me!!

I am torn between envy and lazyness. I keep remembering the parable of the talents. There are many who make do with their one talents (even when surrounded with many with more than one talent), I have been given much and yet all I have is ungratefulness. I complain, I shudder, I lust, I harbour ill feelings, why must he/she succeed and Im still struggling. God I pray, please deliver me, spring me out of this thinking. We all have been given gifts, and they have been given to us for a purpose, a purpose for which we must search out day and night. I have good intent, I get easily excited, but I seem to run out of steam even before I had begun. Which then takes me back to the vicious cycle of being stuck in the runt between envy and lazyness.

I read in His word in Proverbs 18 vs. 9 - one who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. I say to myself, when and how did I become a sister to one who destroys. It was when I took my eyes off the word of God. It was when I chose to compare my life to the life of those around me. It was when He gave me my talents, and I refused to make use of them because I felt they were not enough compared to oby's or joys, or bs, or jenny's and countless others. It was when I complained tirelessly of how He has dealt me a bitter blow, and when my day break came, I still complained it was too little too late.

Why oh merciful God do you have time for me. Why must you love me so. Why must you never leave me nor forsake me. Why must you shower me with favour yet all I do is spit back on your face for the Great and awsome things you have done for me. Why must you lift me up so that my feet doesn't touch the floor and cover my shame, yet all I do in return is "hiss" which is then followed by "about time". Great gracious and most wonderful God. Please do not deal with me as my sin and attitude deserves. Help me be more like the "me" you created me to be, to be more like Christ. Oh How I love you Lord. But I know you wouldn't know it with the way I carry on.

Im sorry dear Lord.

9 comments:

Believer said...

My sister, i love this post because it reminds me of the Psalms. David writes what is on his heart but he always ends it encouraged because he knows that His Redeemer liveth. What can I say..we all go through the 'comparison' stage in life. Just always remember that your times are in His hands (Psalm 31:15)and in the fullness of time you will look back and see why things were the way they were. It is always well with you in Jesus name. Remain blessed and highly favoured.

Believer said...

I forgot, thank God that you've found a church. We may sing different songs, pray in different tongues but as long as it is the same Spirit, we'll be ok. And yes..you can pass for a hottie..OUCH! u've burnt me!!! Love ya!

Sisbee said...

Dear everyone goes through a time like that but the important thing to remember is that you are unique! You were known even before you were in your mum's tum and the steps of the righteous are ordered of God. The bottom line is yours is yours and Brenda's is Brenda's and what ever comes your way is something God knew was good enough for you or something God knew you could handle. Check these out...worth reading. 1 Cor 10:13, Prov 23:17, 1 Peter 5:10

Allied said...

Hmmm I can preach what I don’t always practice but the word in the Bible is truth weather we accept it or not.

We all go through that season; the harvest comes only when we CAN handle it. This season shall pass

Don’t worry. His word says “He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities" (Psalm 103:10)

BlogVille Idols said...

hey pple,the contestants have sung their rock songs...pls listen to them via our voice player and vote for ur favorite.and pls leave us a comment.tanx

Jem said...

Not only did he give us talents but he said we must acquire wisdom and understanding to go with (that is the functionality part) it in Prov 2:2 or those talents will be a waste ...

Jem said...

And since we know that the Lord giveth all wisdom and understand ... the bible says all wisdom and understanding was encapsulated in Christ. And if Christ dwells in us, we can do all things and we are not actually lazy or envious. All we need to do is start doing what we have not being doing ....

Jaycee said...

I love this sincerity...

He will give you ur heart's desires. Lolll, heard ur funny voice mail!

Niyi said...

I agree with Jaycee..

There is absolute sincerity in this post. And that's what God loves- being real!!!!

God bless you. He will make his face shine upon you and do exceedingly, abundantly, above all you can ask, think or imagine.

Have a jolly weekend.