Thursday, June 28, 2007

My Life - about the Favour of God

Why name myself the life of a stranger called me? I started blogging when I arrived in blacksburg Virginia, and wasn't quite sure what to do with myself.

So as I walked through blacksburg side roads and its hills, I started to wonder why the Lord would want me here over the period I spent there. For many months I wondered and really prayed about it, and asked Him to teach me whatever lessons I needed to learn and quickly too. But I guess with our relationship, I was always too hard of hearing. A week just before I was due to return to the UK, I attended an amazing conference at the Radford Church of God, and there the Lord spoke to me clearly. I realised finally that my life have always been about the FAVOUR of God. And even though I might have to travel on the road that many don't travel on, this is the life God had ordained for me.

So since I love blogging so much, and Love God, and find that the only time I don't querry Him and accuse Him of making life unbearable for me lol, is only when I'm in His word. So I've decided to post the lessons I learnt during my time over there. Hopefully when I'm done I can also move over to lessons I've learnt here in Italy (seing as my mind being idle is too damaging to my walk with God). I have a really good feeling about this.

So come on over, I have something to tell you - GOD'S FAVOUR IS IMMUTABLE AND CANNOT BE REVERSED.

Monday, June 25, 2007

I never sent you!!

Hope all your weekend was fabulous. Mine was, in a weird sort of way. After a wonderful time on TERC on Friday, I was feeling very wonderful (as sisbee and akelcalledwonder would always say). So I decided to walk home. I was reliably informed that because I'm Nigerian and have been used to my Nigerian dishes, the Italian food I have started to really enjoy would cause me to gain weight. And it’s not an option not to eat their food. You see I have a food card that can only be used at restaurants, and it would be foolish not to use it. So the Nigerian in me is maxing it out. lol.

As I had previously described my office is on one the mini mountains here in Trento (approximately 400meters), and on the bus will take approx. 20mins to get into town before changing buses, and a further 10 mins before getting to my hotel turned apartment. So on Friday evening, it was a lovely evening, and I constrained a colleague to take the walk with me, and he reluctantly did as I wanted us to leave at 8pm, when he would leave at 6pm on a Friday. And what a beautiful walk it was. The path was very steep, surrounded by nature, fresh water stream with live animals...lol...ok fishes, and fruits, I saw apples, grapes, cherry, wild berries, wild strawberries, fig trees and its fruit, and many I can't say Ive ever heard of. Past the train tracks and down. The walk like I said was a down hill walk and it made the walk very pleasant.

So the next day. I decided to go to work, and because of the pleasant walk the night before, I decided to walk and not get the bus. What a big mistake. I had done 25 mins, when I realised I could no longer walk upwards on the path. It was so steep that I kept stopping every 10mins for a break. My bum, legs, thighs, you name it was hurting. At times I was walking backwards up the mountain because I could no longer do it going forward. The path was so deserted; I thought to myself that even if I were to stop, no one could come by to rescue me in the next coming hrs, so I struggled on until I made it to the top, to my workplace. Took me 2hrs, a walk that was a 50mins walk. But I made it no less.

I was exhausted with pain, and starving. So I took myself to the restaurant, and my, did I eat. Because of the festive weekend here, I had arranged to meet a couple of people at nine, and could not leave on time. So I missed my bus, and you name it I had to walk back. The walk back wasn’t the problem; I had to jog because I had people waiting for me. So I jogged all the way (ok ok, most of the way) and stayed out till 2am watching the water and fire presentation. On Sunday morning, I was too tired to wake up, and the bus only runs hourly on a Sunday, well you figured it out, missed the bus, and had to walk to the station, a 25mins walk to get my train to get to my church that is like 100km away.

So all in all, no one asked me to do all this, but as I wage war against gaining weight by eating healthy Italian food, the fight must continue. And even if it kills me, I must keep up the fight.
So today I am ready for the fight. I am in my adidas triainers (obviously everywhere hurts too much to wear anything else), backpack and very comfy wear. I did get the bus to work today, but will be walking home. Will try and eat the berries along the path today. I hear they are very tasty.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Prov. 23 vs. 6 -7

"6Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: 7For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee".

Thursday, June 21, 2007

O can I be me!!

I am torn between envy and lazyness. I keep remembering the parable of the talents. There are many who make do with their one talents (even when surrounded with many with more than one talent), I have been given much and yet all I have is ungratefulness. I complain, I shudder, I lust, I harbour ill feelings, why must he/she succeed and Im still struggling. God I pray, please deliver me, spring me out of this thinking. We all have been given gifts, and they have been given to us for a purpose, a purpose for which we must search out day and night. I have good intent, I get easily excited, but I seem to run out of steam even before I had begun. Which then takes me back to the vicious cycle of being stuck in the runt between envy and lazyness.

I read in His word in Proverbs 18 vs. 9 - one who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. I say to myself, when and how did I become a sister to one who destroys. It was when I took my eyes off the word of God. It was when I chose to compare my life to the life of those around me. It was when He gave me my talents, and I refused to make use of them because I felt they were not enough compared to oby's or joys, or bs, or jenny's and countless others. It was when I complained tirelessly of how He has dealt me a bitter blow, and when my day break came, I still complained it was too little too late.

Why oh merciful God do you have time for me. Why must you love me so. Why must you never leave me nor forsake me. Why must you shower me with favour yet all I do is spit back on your face for the Great and awsome things you have done for me. Why must you lift me up so that my feet doesn't touch the floor and cover my shame, yet all I do in return is "hiss" which is then followed by "about time". Great gracious and most wonderful God. Please do not deal with me as my sin and attitude deserves. Help me be more like the "me" you created me to be, to be more like Christ. Oh How I love you Lord. But I know you wouldn't know it with the way I carry on.

Im sorry dear Lord.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

So I found a church in VERONA

Sometimes I thank God for my chatty ways. I saw this "aunty" at my regular bus stop where I caught my buses home, and went on to greet her. I found out she was Nigerian, and I asked her about churches where English was spoken. She told me that churches here tend to be Catholics and they speak only Italian as their population don't speak or understand English, but she had a daughter who went to a church behind "Brenero".

I got so excited, took her number and called her. She introduced me to her daughter, and she was a delight. A very pleasant 21 yr old. Well, her daughter told me that she no longer went to the church behind "Brenero" but have found a very good church in Verona. Well I was a little surprised. You see Verona is like 100 kilometres from Povo, and I couldn't imagine me going all that way just for church. Back in blacksburg, I did 30 miles to go to church, I couldn't imagine any further that 30 miles.

Anyhow, we popped on the train went there, and I must say it was a typical Nigerian church. The choir members were all women, they screamed into the microphone which was so loud that I was almost deafened by the noise. I have had this same experience before, how can I forget the wonderful church in Newark New Jersey. It was a very small church of possibly 30 people.

"But if the fruit is good, eat of it". They prayed a lot which I liked, but it was mostly a binding and casting geared prayer. The Pastor preached on relationships, but there was something he said, and I realised that I was at the right place.

It might not be what I'm used to, or I might have to miss the praise and worship bit, because of the noise - [anyways to those that can't sing, God did say make a joyful noise - so their noise is good] - but I believe I have been placed at this place for such a time as this, and thank God for the help he has brought into my life.

Did I tell you that the pleasant girl has offered to show me around, take me shopping, basically made herself available. The Lord indeed is faithful. Psalm 32 vs. 8 is definitely in motion.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Oh really, can I pass for a Hottie?!

Blog Idol rocks. I am so loving it. Who would have thought so much fun can be derived from such. And I can only vote for a favourite, not more.

So back to my main story. You would think seing a police car in your neighbourhood would make you feel a tad safe. Well on friday on my way home, after trying to chat to the girls who were hanging around the corner of my apartment scantily dressed at 11pm at night - who by the way thought I was trying to solicit them for a service, could you imagine - anyways that story is for another day - a police car drove by and the men in the car really smilled at me. I wasnt quite sure what all that was about, I mean I've spoken to police men which ever counry I've been to, they are very good with directions and help, but I felt this was alittle different.

So anyways , I said Ciao back, and continued my walk. Walked past those girls again, cause I sorta missed my turn and had to walk back (so it would look like I was walking back and forth..lol), said my hellos again and went home. The next day I happened to mention this to my collegue at work who told me that the police men knew all the girls in my district and must have thought I was a new girl walking the block Bwahahahaah. Could you imagine. I was very well and smartly dressed, only below the knee showing. And that they are well within their right to ask the girls for their services as its very legal here. I was sort of flabbagasted, like can I really pass for a road side chica.

And I had to go home so late, cause I stayed out on the phone box chatting to my mum. Obvioulsy not going to try going home in the dark again. You just never know the sort of stories I might be telling. But Im really begining to love it here. The views really are spectacular, and Im only 4hrs away on the train from Munich. Might try visitng continental europe on the train.

Happy voting. NaijaDude rocks. Miss T, can't wait to hear your next piece.

UPDATE

I am so excited, and I don't know why, maybe its because temmylicious is finally settled, maybe its because I have this indiscribable joy in my heart. But I know its becauuse God is with me, I just want to go out and shout scream and dance on the top of my street to whoever would listen about the goodness of God. He really is a good God, Did you know that. He really is somthing. Ok, I have 5 job offers, can you imagin that. This my God will not kill me with Favour.

Friday, June 08, 2007

God is Amazingly too much and wonderfully wonderful

Ok,

so I called home yesterday crying to my mum, how I hated it here. I send text to everyone that would listen about how depressed I am. Sent my number to everyone that would listen about why they should call me before I harm myself..lol..Nija bloke laughing at me, because of all the shakara I did for them in the states, about how I was leaving.. my wonderful temmylicious sending me ogbono soup and her love.. and finally my mama calling me to pack my things and come home, saying which kain job be this, my pikin come home, and apply for new job. Telling me to forget my big pay offer in Japan, and free rent, and free tax, telling me its too far.. you never know I might cry again and then i wont be able to come home..lol..

So I took her advice, applied for this post at Rice State univeristy in Texas, sharp sharp the prof. replies and wants to meet me. I was like, ok, I will either chose cambridge or Texas.

So I went to this meeting yesterday, realised if I took away my dislike of this place, and not having any phone or internet at my apartment, this place isn't all that bad. I still didn't care, Ive started packing for my return to England, when I read the word of God last night on Psalm 32 vs. 8.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you".


The word didn't really filter or go in. As I returned to my office today, to read over my contract, determined to try and publish two papers this year to compensate for my moving around, I felt the need to search for nigerians in Italy, and what I found amazed me. And it took me back to the lady I met yesterday.

.............................

On my way to work yesterday, I had gotten lost on the bus 7, and was going round north of italy in circles. I met this black girl on the bus, but I didnt say a word. After 20mins on the bus, and after I had realised that I was indeed lost again, I asked her what bus I was in, she spoke english very well with a nigerian accent. I asked her where she was from, she screamed nigeria, I wasn't sure why she would say it in such a manner, however I concluded it could be for the reason that there were a few black people around verona / trento who appeared to be refugees from warturn countries. I thanked her very much, but before I ran for the next bus, I asked her what part of nigeria she was from and what she thought of life living in Italy. She screamed benin, and shook her head, saying it would be better if i returned to where I came from. Paying me a compliment, that I looked too good to be or to stay in this country.

................................

Fast forward to today, now.. I work for Micro****, but in a university, so I am paid by micro**** but I can still have an academic carreer, i.e. go up to become a full professor.


So after I had done my search I found out that there were alot of nigerian girls very young girls who are sent over here unknowing into prostitution. They probably have no hope, and probably feel that God has abandoned them. Something spoke to my spirit, pray for these girls. MY GOODNESSES. For the first time in this country, I feel like I have a mission, something I can do for God. I had always complained why all the coloured girls I see in this place all dress like street chicas, I can see why.


For the first time, I have decided to stay, I was indeed sent here for a reason, and I will not leave, until God uses me to make some difference, even if it is only through prayers.
Taurean Minx said something about doing your bit, I think God was indirectly trying to tell me about waiting here for a while. It really isn't my time yet to shine, but I can do a lot in hidden places or where ever I am.

Stay well all.

Trully God is good, He spoke to me concerning entering my rest. But its only possible to only when I obey. So Lord here I am, send me.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Im here, and Im sad!!

You would think all this move is wonderful and Im loving every moment. I hate to be a representative of an ingrate, but it appears I am. I think I might have decided wrongly to come here. Maybe becausue I have options thats why Im going on like this, maybe because I know I have a better position in Okinawa that I need to decided on before the 1st of septmeber, and its a 5yrs position. I am told the japanese take is personally if you accept a position and then reject them half way.. you never know they may ban me from ever entering their country psyc.., but whatever it is I need divine intervention.

My Terc family, please keep me in your prayers. If I was sent to minister the word of God, shouldn't I be able to communicate with them and they with me. Anyhow, Im told they speak english in okinawa, and the US marines are every where.

OK, this is my complaint section done. Oh and to top is all up, Im in love with Mr OJ, and who probably doesn't know I've been feeling him for a long while now. I had hoped, this silly emotion will disapper but it hasn't. To make it worse, I was sort of telling him in codes about it, but he still did not figure it out. You know how it is ladies, we are not allowed to chase the man, so even though I'm not into all that women chasing guys (like no way), I won't lie he really is worth it. Maybe he really just sees me as his friend. Something I am an expert in. And I guess its worse now because my travels have started in earnest and all that lonley feeling has begun.

Anyhow, I need serious deliverance. Im thinking of moving to neurology. The Okinawa position is in brain analysis. What do you think people. I need a challenge, something to take my mind off Mr. OJ. But what if I don't like it in Okinawa. Im begining to dislike things. I have a mortgage, in England, and a wonderful mother to make proud, should I just sit at home for like 3 months before i decided...Serious Prayers wanted.. for slowly loosing it sista.