Friday, March 14, 2008

There trully is no place like Home

So I am now back in England for some time (ok, two weeks), so calling on all my UK crew make space in your diary for me.

Short post, but I miss you all, so I thought to just be reminding you all that I am around, but not gone.

Oh and Udo, yes you being a silent reader and all, I have something special to post on. Watch this space. lol.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I am gliding on these wheels

I am gliding on these wheels

Am tired restless, out of breath, am I dying slowly?

Am gliding on these wheels, perhaps now am sliding. Do you know how it feels?

I sometimes fear the emotions, latent, confusing, engulfing

It gets harder every morning. I feel these pains, no motivation. What’s the deal?

Am gliding on these wheels, the paradox in my life

Despite all the heating I feel this great Chill

My Sahara and Siberia

Liken life to soil, why is mine so hard to till?

Near misses, almost there, nearly there will I ever get there?

Am gliding on these wheels, the noose and earth beckon

Perhaps at the end of today, I will write my will

I shall leave my empty life and my earthy belongings behind

But with whom shall I leave my broken heart? My dilemma

Yet, I have no desire to end a life, even mine. I can’t even kill a fly

But living without the joy of loving is a void too big to fill.

Am gliding on these wheels. A life on auto pilot

I even remember to eat and pay my bill. Enough of my musing, so many things to do

Amazing how easily, how well you can drive, when your mind is far away

I get to the office, sit down and at once feel ill

My boss thinks I should rest my aching body, but it’s my mind that’s sick

Am gliding on these wheels. This ever present emptiness.

I wonder what’ll happen if I take a bit more of this pill

Ah! Sweet release. Am sleeping already. Perhaps this time it’ll be forever

Would I be missed? If I die will the world come to a standstill?

A father who loves me. My mother would die for me. My sister would kill for me. Still

Their love is of another kind. A void, an ache they can’t fulfil.

I resolve, not to die. I will struggle; I will survive for a reason

I will trod on with a resolute will

I will share my lack of love. I will visit it on that gender that plunged me downhill

Am gliding on these wheels. Now back in control?

Am having my fun with every Jill

Big, small, tall, short, slim, fat. Devoid of race, I share my skill

It’s Pathetic. They now crave for love. They grovel for it. Am sorry. No more to give

Enjoy to your fill, I’ll pay the bill. Then please go away. I enjoy the thrill

I have killed love. It’s senseless. Buy the cow? Not when the milk is free

Am gliding on these wheels. Now I don’t care

What’s this wedge?

Let go! Away! Am yet to eat to my fill

It refuses to go away. My joy. Do you want to steal?

Am perplexed

What’s the deal?

Alarm rings! Ah! Its morning still. Thank God!

Professor is making breakfast on the grill

I hugged her tightly until she screamed with that voice I know so well

I never want to let go. Her face is grim

‘What’s the matter baby’?

Darling what a dream I had. The thought of it gives me the chill

It was so vivid and seemed so real

A type of pain I never wish to feel

I wonder what my life would have been

I would have gone on without a will

I saw my life, like I never knew it before

Magic and tragic

It was disturbing still.

I am relieved as I wake up. Realizing it was a nightmare of sorts

With my sunshine at my side, how wonderful I feel

Imagine, oh imagine how life was without you.