Sunday, November 26, 2006

Nwan my Love - sorry she played you!!

My good friend (& cousin - 6 times removed) just called me today - I haven't spoken to him in a while. The last time we spoke he was getting married and he had prayed concerning her and had peace of mind concerning her. He had asked her to marry him; she had agreed but was reluctant to fix a date. You see she was young, I'm told 23 and he was 36 yrs - Yes 36 - even the age difference shocked me. He loved her very much and she appeared to as well - but she was hesitant.

Why shouldn't she be hesitant - according to Miguel's "The games women play" he might have been a "fry pan" or a "grill" guy. He was successful and financially stable - And he wasn't going anywhere and she got whatever she wanted from him. A man that could be relied upon, a man with upstanding morals - but the reasons why the relationship should not work was glaring!!

He was devastated - He was hoping for a December traditional marriage but she was now leaving - She had toyed and left - she had got close to his mother and finally came out with it. "Our relationship will not work" she said - "I am catholic and he's protestant - the age difference is very much - we have nothing to talk about and we are not on the same level - He's too old for me and more mature than I am - I need to find me someone with a smaller age difference and interest".

Baby girl - didn't you know all this while you were dating? Didn't you know all this when you were spending his money?, hounding him day and night, telling him how much you love him and can't live without him?, sweet pea, didn't you realise this when your sisters and family friends told you at the beginning concerning the lack of common ground? - Why did you have to pull him in only to break this good man - who has always been on the good guy’s side. Can a woman ever tell of how he has hurt tricked and abused them? If there is one please say it loud!!

He has always been family orientated - worked to get his family off the ground - always too busy for himself but available for others - This was the one thing he wanted - you should have told him from the beginning. There is nothing wrong with what you did baby girl (breaking off the engagement), but it was the way you did it and the person you did it to.

It was not meant to be, but in the future don't play this game. You knew it would never work cause the reasons you outlined was always there from the beginning - you should have told him what you wanted him for and not used him to get what you wanted - only to dash him when you realised how serious he was. Baby girl you are far too young to play these games - If ever in doubt - Then stop - don't pretend!!

I hear another is about to take your place - I hope he will take his time - and not rush into bad rubbish.

Disclaimer – it makes you think – just because you have peace about someone you intend to propose to does not make them the right one. Sometimes it so obvious that that person is playing games!!


UPDATE -

I forgot to mention that Nwan my love is now married to the "Best Woman" in the world.. I love that girl mannnn, she is something else. He got married Jan 2007..... God is Faithfull my people.

105 comments:

Anonymous said...

FIRST! Eeiyaa! I'm so sorry o. Hope your coz is ok....it must hurt to be let down when you want something so bad. I guess it wast met to be and someone better is on the way.
Hope you had an awesome thanksgiving!

ChiefO said...

another good one dealt to bitter pill, then they wonder why theose of us that are left tend not to commit ourselves 100%. its simple, WE DONT WANT OUR HEARTS YANKED OUT THROUGH THE BACK! thus we let our lungs take its place sometimes.

Anthony Arojojoye said...

Chop and cleam mouth!

Haven't you guys heard of Otapiapia? Drop the darn thing in her food. Only one dose is enough.

Later in life when they're having problems, they'll say it's the witch in their family. Bloody baggers!

Don't forget to give her the medication.

ChiefO said...

LOL @ otapiapia! damn anthony u don turn doctor overnight?

azuka said...

Why, why, why do people have to be this cruel?

LondonBuki said...

This is what normally happens to the good guys and then they become ruthless.

Hope your cuz has recovered from this and I wish him all the best in his next relationship...

Anonymous said...

Eeya, i feel bad for your cousin jare. Life is not fair sha. Why use otapiapia? Use rat poison.

Anonymous said...

Now the guys are so easy to be hounded whenever they do that to a lady. Never heard of the case of the guy bailing out on the fiance.
Now the guy has some hurt, hatred, he felt broken, wouldnt be able to trust women and she thinks she had it while it was good, got engaged? Thats cruel.
I dont really believe in karma but I am sure it will bite her back on "where the good Lord spilt her"
Things dont go swiftly as we want, yet we dont look back at the evil we did to men!
She isnt smart, she's just plain cruel and mean.

Eagle's Nest!!! said...

Your disclaimer is so true!! How have you been?

Belle said...

my parents have 15 years betweent them.. and they are happy....

the story is actually sad... but its obvious he deserves someone who loves him back as much...

Belle said...

my parents have 15 years betweent them.. and they are happy....

the story is actually sad... but its obvious he deserves someone who loves him back as much...

Funmi said...

this is quite sad......i keep hearing stories of girls playing this kind of dangerous games with men who are well meaning. LOSCM i would suggest u tell your cousin to thank his stars (this girl obviously knew from the get go she wasn't in the relationship for the long haul).

A courtship broken is way better than a broken marriage.

Praying and getting an inner peace is definately not all to look out for in a relationship. I just pray he doesn't take it out on the next person. As for the girl karma will catch up with her......

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Heya... that is just so sad... your cousin must be devastated... but him sha... and it's hard for him to have known especially if the girl claimed to love him and that the age doesn't make a difference.. the girl is young but I guess sometimes her attitude is to expected.. I mean a lot of these girls will just sugartalk the guy but in their mind.. he's just an 'elevated sugardaddy' and it just progressed a little.. but usually for most of those girls its just a means to an end.. sad that youre cousin got caught up in all that!Hope he's good and doesn't change his nature for his experience... we wish him well!

Biodun said...

Girls n their games, wow am sure ur cousin is going thru a horrible time now. Hope he finds the one for him soon!

NaijaBloke said...

See now ... nobody dan curse the gurl out for here now .. if na man do this kain thing now .. ol boy .. na die ..

LOASCM,I know ur cousin shd be fine and he was probably to much in love to notice the signs .. at least my guy is bouncing back already and I hope he is still the same ol guy o,cos with this kind of issue,ruthless is an understatement.

U have a nice week

NaijaBloke said...

How did ur passport thingy go?

TaureanMinx said...

Poor dude. Those are just plain excuses oh, not lik ehe devoloped his age suddenly, gosh she should have decided this a long time ago. Thats why I dont get it when ppl say they can just date...just like that..they say..its not like we are getting married, we can just date! How? I don't get it.

Miguel said...

lol...Naijabloke...GREAT observation...lol

RJ said...

LOL! I don't mean to laugh but "I am catholic and he's protestant..." just got me cracking up. Like you said, didn't she know all this?
Maybe the man should find someone closer to his age, they keep chasing people so young and expect not to be seen as a bank?

Well he has someone else so he has obviously moved on

angie said...

Ur cousin is lucky she showed her true colors b4 they got married. i knw a guy who got married and the girl kept bringing her "boyfriend" into the house as her cousin. the so called "boyfriend" was even on their bridal train. He caught them together in his house and the girl was not even remorseful.

Anonymous said...

that suks...thats the same age difference b/w my parents...she was 23 when she married the 36 yr old man..lol..

it depends on wat the girl wants...obviously not ur cousin..its better she got out now..than after the marriage...God will send each of them the right person..

sometimes we people dont know how to make decisions..we get carried away by certain things that clog our vision of reality...

Belle said...

BTW..what happened to your Pastor-man? update us!

Anonymous said...

I hope your cousin is doing good oh. It is better to be free now oh then later when divorce may be the only option.

Thanks Jare for welcoming me to bloggers, but dang there is so much to blog about but little time to write. i'll try to keep up.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@ all -

Thank you all for all your kind comments will send out much love to nwan.

@belle - The pastor friend is well. He is currently touring nigeria on a crusade. I will update shortly. We are having oppositions!!

Anonymous said...

Poor guy! Poor guy!! Gosh! The girl was young and not ready to marry, end of!!!

If the man was really serious about getting married then he would have gone for an older woman who has been there, done that and gotten the T bloody shirt! Why we're so quick to condemn the girl, I don't know. When men do it, they are Playas! When women do it, they are Hoes! Abegi!!!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@desola - we are not condeming the girl becasue of her indecieveness or not being ready to get married - it was how she went about it. She knew what the guy wnated when he fell for her and yes I do understand her. But I felt she should have done this differently. She has every right to change her mind - but she should have atleast told him - communicated - even if you dont want to hurt them. She should have told him she loved him and enjoyed what he had to offer but not ready to settle then the guy would have been better informed to make a decision.

Jem said...

hmmmm ..... very very deep stuff. very deep. wow!

Calabar Gal said...

I am guilty of having done this once in my life!! I didnt lead him on!! He just wouldnt accept no for an answer!!!

My condolences to ur cousin. He should look at it as 'Good riddance to bad rubbish'. His love will come and he'll mightily blessed and be happy. Better a say a failed relationship than a loveless marriage abi?

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