Friday, November 03, 2006

Is she really out of her mind!!!

I'm about to tell you a story - A story that requires wisdom in order to advice appropriately -

Lets suppose a woman meets and falls in love with a good man, a godly man, who as far as he’s concerned has found his favour and is about to obtain favour from the Lord for doing so. He loves, adores and cherishes her - her happiness is his ultimate ambition and one of her things about him - is she loves the way he loves her - But here is the catch.

He is very successful, and even though he’s a transatlantic kinda guy, he lives and has his base in Nigeria. His business is in its infancy, and only requires a few more years to reach its full potential, where possibly another branch could be opened outside of nigeria. He does have an intention to live outside Nigeria and have given the woman an option of choosing where she would like them to settle, so that they can discuss and choose a likely outcome. He wants them to have a relationship where they are together and her career is not affected.

Now the woman is very successful at what she does, is world renowned (scientist – in her field – the youngest black and only black individual in her field) – People have always tagged her to be one of the Nobel Lauriets for example of the future – is published in prestigious journals and is about to be employed as an associate professor on a tenure track post. Her ideas are ground breaking and her fellow scientists look out for her work to see what journals her papers appears to find out if she is slacking or on track.

She is also a mighty woman of God – A woman who knows and understands her role as a support to her husband and help mate. She has modelled herself on the wife of a noble character told in Proverbs 31 vs. 10 and has always believed that her husband will be her master as Sarah called her husband Abraham master – she believes her role as a wife is beside her husband and would not be separated from her husband for any length of time - she sees her position and achievements as blessings not as a result of her intelligence, she has never been career orientated and therefore has always held everything she has lightly. Her parents are very proud of her, especially her mother, who goes about and speaks to total strangers about her beloved daughter. She is 26, and her mother is not just about to let her go, because not only is she her mother’s daughter but her best friend too. Her mother would like her married (some day – what mother wouldn’t) – but not just yet – she is not mentally prepared to let her go. She is the eldest daughter of a large family unit – and her family love and adore her – she is not just a sibling to them – but she is a blessing to them – She is a deacon in her church – a woman very respected by her pastors and by the entire congregation - she is involved in every church department – and because she devotes her time to God – God devotes His time to her – To sum it up she is a woman of favour.

Now she is in-love with this man – she is in the process of finding if he is her master and lord. She would also love her mother and siblings and her pastors to agree on this and believes that when the time comes they will all agree – but it appears that the process is taking longer to resolve. When she makes her decision she would want to move to Nigeria to be with him (her husband – instead of waiting for the business to mature - that may take some time) – she would also have to have a career change – you see her field is very new even in the western world and is only gathering pace there – She would be seen as a wasted talent if she does move – but IS HE WORTH IT?? –

The time is almost here, she is about to make a decision – a decision no one wants to hear – Is she out of her mind?? –

100 comments:

Anonymous said...

She's not out of her mind, She's in love. She should listen to her heart and not deprive herself of happiness i.e if she knows for sure he'll make her happy.Life is about taking risk. Beside sounds like she's made up her mind. Goodluck : ).

Patrice said...

I agree with nigerican, she (you?) is not "out of her mind" and she should pursue the path that means more to her. I was in a similar situation (I too was a fledgling scientist abroad) and opted for the career over the relationship. I chose the one that mattered to me most at the time and I have no regrets. Perhaps going back to this post of yours might be of help to you.

Patrice said...

I agree with nigerican, she (you?) is not "out of her mind" and she should pursue the path that means more to her. I was in a similar situation (I too was a fledgling scientist abroad) and opted for the career over the relationship. I chose the one that mattered to me most at the time and I have no regrets. Perhaps going back to this post of yours might be of help to you.

Patrice said...

I agree with nigerican, she (you?) is not "out of her mind" and she should pursue the path that means more to her. I was in a similar situation (I too was a fledgling scientist abroad) and opted for the career over the relationship. I chose the one that mattered to me most at the time and I have no regrets. Perhaps going back to this post of yours might be of help to you.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

girls - nigerican & patrice - who says its about me now?? -

Cherub said...

HA! I know who she is. But, i know that feeling (from my aunt's experience), sacrificing all one has for love? Is it worth the sacrifice? That's why prayers are crucial to make such life-changing decision. I pray everything works well for her. One thing, i do know is that God has everything planned out for her already, she just needs to seek his face more to know what next. I'm excited for her, 'cos it looks like she has found true love. Can i please get an invite, when the time is here?

Belle said...

dang girl.. you lead an interesting life..!
i'm a romantic...so i think i would move... but it would be painful sha (at least initially).

Look at the bigger picture. If he is the one, then you will have even bigger oportunities whereever you move to. Just take it to God in prayers..

So when are YOU moving to naija? heheheh ;)

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Awwww... Babe.. go with your heart... cos you'd always regret it otherwise.. you'd always wonder... when you're great @ what you do.. there's always opportunities for you... but that love that changes everything... that love that makes winter seem a little less cold.. that love that makes everything so beautiful... it probably only comes once in a lifetime... you go with it... or it meets your cousin!...

I say follow your heart babe! all the money and success in the world seem a lil hollow if you don't have someone to share it with... I think(lol.. what do i know afterall.. i'm 20)

Eagle's Nest!!! said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Eagle's Nest!!! said...

I know who the piece described! Follow your heart! Love defies logic and reasoning. The pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfilment that love brings is transcedent - not obtainable from career or material wealth! Oh, take away man's achievements, but give him the person he loves and you shall see the wonders of nature. The man will gain back everything just because his love is with him.

Funmi said...

She needs to go with what God says (that's all that truly matters)

DiAmOnD hawk said...

My dear life. I think u shud go on the St.Paul's fast. very instrumental when facing crucial decisions

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Hello Everyone - I am sort of secretly honoured that you would think the lady in question is me - but alas tis not so - or is it?? Im playing!!

@bijoux - I trust you to think you know who it is - if you are thinking moi - wrong!! - But seriously I pray everything works out for her - I dont think I would be able to pack my things and go for love - HAHA - IF that is the Will of God who Im I to say no -

@Belle - yeah we sort of live paralled lives but maybe I might consider moving for love - but the man will suffer from all my ' back in the day I was this and that' and could have done better' - basically complianing becasue of what I had to give up - LOL

@ONB - Yeso I will go with my heart - my love is not blind - it can see clearly - But I feel what you say though - there's no point being on the top and having no one to share it with - it can get pretty lonley-

Joel - pls do tell - who is she - true - what you say is true - bliss forever - but are you sure that human default behaviour will not rear its ugly head - whenever they have a small argument - she might just throw it all back on his face - its human!!

@funmi - thats the most important thing - but it is kinda difficult trying to hear God when emotions are involved - this why she needs the extra help of men and women of God - whom God have placed in authority over her

@diamond - pls tell me what the St.pauls fast is - I have never heard of it - I have a few other decisions to make.

LondonBuki said...

You said, "I have a few other decisions to make"... LOL!

Anyway, I don't know if I think she is outta her mind or not. I have not felt that way about anyone so I don't know what I would do...

God will guide her in the right direction.

Have a great week :-)

mosaic said...

Come on, Life...is you or not? I think it is. ;-)

If it is you, you've been holding out on us! You've never before mentioned some love of yours in Nigeria...hmmm. Anyway, I would tell "her"/you? to stay put for a while longer. Especially with this career thingy. If she's breaking ground in field and it's just picking up speed in Nigeria, I'd wait. Or who knows, maybe "she" could be responsible for establishing the field in Nigeria. Whatever you do, just pray.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

i think it's the pastor guy that wants to buy her a jeep o Mosaic...which would make this development quite crucial

The St.Paul's fast lasts for 3days. You select the start and end time....You only drink water and fruit juices. The purpose of the St.Paul fast is to seek God's help in bringing about a clearer perspective and insight as you make crucial decisions

reference Psalm 37:4; Romans 12: 1-2

email me for more details

temmy said...

Let me assume that it is not you but we all know it is you. hee hee.

Some things women do for love. At some point early this year i made up my mind to move to Nigeria for good all because of a man o. Things didnt work and we got talking a while after and then i asked him if he were inmy shoes, would he have relocated to the UK?

He con tell me say:NAH!
No ke? He said i am the woman and a woman's home is with her husband.

See life? Follow ur heart jare. I mean tell the person to follow her heart.

TaureanMinx said...

Please consider other things like what she would do in Nigeria and if shes the ambitious type who needs that kind of stimulation or if she won't mind being supported fully by her husband. There is nothing like thinking back a feew years later and thinking...WHAT IF? She has to truly pray upon it and know that Nigeria is not a basket of roses and be ready for whatever dissapointments may or may not come if she gives up her career because bitterness and regret can kill love very quickly.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@lomdonbuki - Yes o I have a few other decisions to make LOL - I cant say I have felt that way about someone - My love has its eyes open very very well - But I have so much to learn. Way too much.

@mosai huney - I havnt been holding out - I have always kept you guys updated on the jeep guy front -

@diamond - eh jeep guy is still there o - but diamond - the guy in question is business guy - my own is jeep guy -

@temmy - lets assume its not me -Yes oo I will follow my heart - I mean I will tell her to follow her heart -

@TaureanMinx - what you say is so true - thats what I keep telling her - if she becomes idle for too long and the children starts to come and she becomes frustrated she might think she married the wrong guy - Just like diamond said - she needs serious praying and fasting -

Eagle's Nest!!! said...

The Jeep guy and the business guy are the same person jo!

I'm waiting for update!!!!

Angie said...

She is not out of her mind. She really has to pray as some people have pointed out. cos wat if he isn't God's plan for her, she will end up frustrated.

Discombobulated Diva said...

I agree with Nigerian as well... if its the real things, then I would not hesitate to follow him to Nigeria... she can always come back to visit her family, and continue her work later in life... but I wouldn't let true love slip out of my hands....
~DD

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