Friday, November 17, 2006

Where is My MAN?!!!!!!

I had and still have a good friend whose sister was 6 years older than we were. We were in our late teens and we always wondered why she was still single. I always liked staying over at her sister’s place – she was always fun to be with – but all she ever talked about was men, relationships and men. We didn’t quite understand her, we always thought to ourselves – how can it be so difficult to find a man, when there were so many handsome men – Just strolling down the street – there were men galore – or is the dudes in the clubs – F- I- N- E. We always visualised ourselves by the age of 25 –married and settled and done everything we needed to have done – and the age we were then to be fun time age. We always had this look on our face that said her sister worried too much. Some years after that – I went to stay at her sisters place yet again – she was still doing the same talk routine. Men – relationships – men. She was slightly on the heavy side – and so we assumed that could be the reason why she was still not married at her age. As a last result – she started going to this Pentecostal church in North London – and left after many months – apparently the pastor had had an affair and appropriated some church fund. She was still searching for her Mr Right but she was now doing it in all the wrong places. At that time, I really never understood why she was still single – and why she was finding it difficult to find a man.

As the years progressed, so did my age, and I found myself again in the position I once found difficult to understand when I was a tad younger than I am now. Was in my mid twenties and very much single. As I looked around me – in my circle of friends – I found that they were all married / or were in a lasting relationship – All working for the Lord and enjoying the presence of their companion as they embraced the work of the Lord. I wasn’t sure if I was finding it difficult to accept – or was it the fact that it was always brought to my attention – but it appeared that I was always asked about it. Causing me to feel - when previously the thoughts had never crossed my mind. It got to a point the meetings I had with my pastors increased – I was having more regular meetings with my pastor than I would have expected. The topic – how are you feeling? Or how do you feel when you hear that J, T, K, Di, E, Da, and countless others were getting married – my answer would always remain I am very happy for them – and the Will of God is being realised in their life. For some of them – I had to pray with them and for them - for God to reveal and confirm to them that their partner was their partner – so I was very much present during the entire process of the courtship – Especially there during their highs and their lows – and I guess it was probably why the pastors insisted on seeing me on a more regular basis – concerning my relationships – or lack of it – It had to effect me in one way or the other – psychologically or emotionally. I was ripe to be categorised as a woman who might be if not desperate to settle down – I had many opportunities to feel sorry for myself. My mum who had been a lobbyist of the idea of me marrying at the age her sisters got married (30 yrs and above) – started her fasting and praying routine when it dawned on her that her daughter in her circle of friends was the only single left – She stepped up – changed her entire strategy – and was now lobbying must marry in mid to late twenties -

But I’m glad that even though some days might be difficult – The Word of the Lord says in Isaiah 34 vs. 16 -17 – “None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together. 17. He allots their portions; His hand distributes them by measure. They will possess it forever. And in Numbers 23 vs. 19 – He reassures us that He does not lie – and as He planned it so will it be and as He purposed it so will it stand [Isa 14 vs. 24; Isa 46 vs. 11; Isa 45 vs. 23; Jer 4 vs. 28 [end]; Jer 29 vs. 11], That He has not forgotten us – Isa 49 vs. 15-16 , that I will never be disappointed in Him [vs. 23 end], because the words that go out of His mouth concerning me/ us will not return to Him empty []Isa 54 vs. 11].

What do I mean by difficult – recalling and recanting the past – wondering why I had to go through what I had to go through – emotionally – men of no valour – His words tells me to forget what had happened in my past – and look forward to what He is doing, asking me if I still don’t see it [Isa 43 vs. 18-19] – that I had to go through what I went through cause He is teaching me what is best for me [Isa 48 vs. 17] – and He disciplines me because of His Love for me [Heb 12 vs. 6-7]. I am not saying that He is to be blamed for my mistakes or “wayo” men coming my way LOL – but I am saying that even in that He was and still is in control.

So even though – many would come to me and wonder why I’m still single – saying is it because she has read too much that she thinks she’s too good for our men, or she’s single because no man is good enough – my consolation is that the word of God tells me that I should not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults []Isa 51 vs7], and because He helps me I will not fear disgrace [Isa 50 vs. 7; Isa 54 vs. 4]. His time is the best time. It is better to wait and have what He has given to you, than to rush to take what He has not given to you. So celebrate your age. God only knows how to give good things – He can’t give bad things – so those days when you cry yourself to sleep – feeling sorry for yourself – think about how you are wasting useful tears that you could use when the time to rejoice arrives – because yes days might be hard – but as long as there is noon time and harvest time, as long as My God is on The Throne – what He has promised He will bring to pass – Yes it might seem too long – and yes you might ask the question why you and what makes you different from the others – The difference is YOU – you have been made differently – and Your portion is different – Remember He has caused your boundary line to fall on pleasant places for YOU and your lot already secure [Psalm 16 vs. 5-6]. So break up unploughed ground – Your season to be blessed has arrived. And the Lord has remembered you.

112 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen! I needed that today! Thanks.

BTW, I went to the consulate last week, and it took less than an hour to submit it and only $45 for a renewal.

Have a blessed weekend, and remember Gods time is the best!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@annon - Thanks for that - You mean you just showed up - and that was that - well Im off to atl next week - Hope no problem.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

so you're going to be on my side of town....
hmmmmm

mosaic said...

Amen, girl!

Anonymous said...

LOASCM...all the best with your passport renewal in ATL.

Nice post you have up there...the Bible backups are on point. No shaking..stand well well!! God's time really is the best..no point in rushing into something thats not yours.
You know we all deserve to be at your wedding o...
what about your Noble-Prize winning Friend and her dilemma? Did she decide to move to Naija?
Have a lovely weekend!

Grateful said...

Bravo........nice post, we hould hook up in atl.....lol...I happen to be going there mysef :)

Anonymous said...

Wow...what wonderful words of encouragement. I really needed that. Thanks.

Miguel said...

TLOASCM - very uplifting post. If we could spend some more time on the word, we'll be less worried about the challenges that life throws at us or the situations we find ourselves. People frown when I say theres no situation or circumstance that you are facing that isnt covered in the bible... Ecclesiatses 1:13 says "And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith".

Anonymous said...

Just preach it, any more upliftment messages couldnt have done any more better. that was wonderfully written and just to chip in mine Isaiah 49:16 says "See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;Your walls are continually before Me"
He's a God of promised and He never fails. Just keep being strong, your wonderful time that will make you like the virtous woman described in the bible is sooner than expected!

Have a great weekend!

Eagle's Nest!!! said...

Life_of_a_stranger: Where art thou? I wanna talk with you!! Please respond asap!

Funmi said...

LOSCM this was a well written piece.....His timing is certainly the best. Like Miguel said its all in the word.....

Anthony Arojojoye said...

You forgot the part in the bible that says 'Pursue, overtake and gather the spoils'! You need to follow the bible to the letter. Whatever you set your mind to do can be accomplished. Just set your heart on a nice, cool looking gentleman and pursue until you overtake and gather the spoil.
Don't worry about the strength to do that 'cos the Lord is your strength'.


To answer your question, I don't know where your man is. Last time I saw him, he was nicely dressed, waiting for you.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@diamond - hmmm yes o I will be in your neck of the wood - we might even pass each other without knowing - well just incase, Im 5.3 inch - with braids and permanent fixated smile on my face - I might have a very thick north west [england] accent.

@mosaic - Amen AMEN-

@Sapph - Amen - they better renew it for me. If they do Ill tell my family to come and renew theres in ATL LOL.. - God's time is so the best time - no problem - you know you are invited to my wedding, before nko - both the trad and the church - you must come and represent - concerning that my friend - I'll tell you a secret - It was ....

@grateful - we should shouldn't we - but then my cover will be blown - I will no longer be life of a stranger - casue you will know me - I will have to call my self - Life of someone grateful knows - LOL -

@anon 2 - Im glad it was an encouragement to you - I know as I wrote it I was encouraged myself

@miguel - What you say is so true - but you know sometimes the devil lies to you and you think you are too tired to open the Word of God. Im just learning to be very very patient - and to remember that God's time is the best - and everything He does He does for a reason - so the state you're in has not escaped Him - on a different note you must be serioulsy strong with all the travelling you do. If it was me I would have gone and done some serious crying to God that this waka must stop - because the thought of travelling paralyses me sometimes.

@nijadude - Amen - I claim it in Jesus Name - thanks for your chip in.

@joel - Im here now - I didn't go anywhere - Im responding..

@funmi - and knowing His word we can overcome - Thats why we have problems because we lack wisdom, and the simple fact is all we need is all in God's word.

@anthony - Of course my man is very well nicely dressed - and I know he's on his way - its only a matter of time before I see him - so I should set my eyes on a bobo and pursue - You are too funny.

Anthony Arojojoye said...

I got a song for you. I believe you should remember this;

E ma s'ora ke si ma gbadura x2

Ta lo le mo igba tabi Akoko
T'oko iyawo yo de.

LOL!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Excellent post.. very inspiring babe... i've read this post twice now.. You've said it all...

LondonBuki said...

Well written... :-)
Good luck with renewing your ppt.

Anonymous said...

Finish telling me now..pweaaaaaaaseee..
It was (YOU???)

Dipo Tepede said...

Where is my man?

Where is my Life?

Where is my God?

The bible says God gives gift and adds no sorrow........

When the gift comes from God, there shall not be any shadow of turnings.....

My dearest, do not defer your hope; your gift is on the way!

NaijaBloke said...

Nice post here ..preach on sis..LOL

U have a nice week and thx for ur comment on my blog ..

Niyi said...

Great post ( you kept it real too) The scriptural references were very pertinent as well. You have a good attitude and God will continue to strengthen you.

You are right. Along the lines you mentioned, Bishop Jakes said in one of his books "God SYNCHRONIZES HIS ANSWERS to accomplish HIS PURPOSE"

I totally believe it. God is sovereign. He has ordained every detail of your life and he is maintaining every bit of it as He orchestrates and executes the steps of your life. He is ALWAYS ON TIME.

There is a book that has blessed me a lot ( I actually told Belle abt it.. she just got it). It is titled "Trusting God even when life hurts" by Jerry Bridges. I really do believe that it is a great read. You may check it out if you like.

Have a great week and God bless you

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, TLOASCM.

Discombobulated Diva said...

I am so glad i came across your blog, this entry was very encouraging for me at a time when I defintetly needed it... I'd already come to the same comclusion, but it helps to be validated my other's opinions... I stopped chasing after what wasn't mine and now I'm patiently waiting for what God has in store for me... thanks.... I'll be back to visit...
~DD

Vera Ezimora said...

Hey girl...I've been having similar thoughts. I'm glad you've got the word of God as your strength; with it, you CANNOT go wrong.

Belle said...

very encouraging post! Gods timing is definitely best!!

Anonymous said...

I am finally able to leave a comment.The post def is encouraging,and i strongly believe God's time is the best.Even i didnt want to believe, i have been hearing that from my mum for the past 2 weeks.

Anonymous said...

Good one Life of a...., There is a truckload of blessing in waiting for the right man than in settling in the wrong one. Hold on.

Ok, where my naijas and fun people at. i just joined bloggers, and I am looking forward to getting to read all your bloggings and getting to know you all anonymously ...lol, wink!
You can all check out my blogs at
http://aurasoul.blogspot.com/, i have one post on there right now, but there are more coming.
ok, i hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving! Stay blessed

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Im back - I was sort of late for the high commision but they will be renewing it. It will be availabe wednesday - YIPEEE - I can see my travel in the horizon - me in lagos - enroute to the different cities - laughing and joyous - OK OK.

@anthony - I havnt heard of that song - huum

@ONB - Thanks for reading the post twice - girl Its good u understood it

@LondonB - Thank you - they did - they were very frindly - I will get my sibblings to come all the way to the states to get a renewal guarrantee -

@Saph - You like story - Once upon a time - time time - there was - infact I will write it as another post - thehehee!!

@dipo - I claim it O in Jesus Name - I will not defer my hope -

@NB - its good to see (hear) you sounding well - How was your weekend?

@niyi - Thanks for stopping by niyi - you know what I will check the book out - it sounds like a book I need to read and to have in my library.

@daddy's girl - Im glad you like it -
@Discombobulated Diva - I am so glad that you have already come to the same conclusion - and its good to hear that you are expantant too - not just waiting but of the knowledge that God will come through for - and because you trust and believe HIM - He will show Himself strong on your behalf - so I encourage that you will not lack that that the Lord has set aside for you. Thanks for stopping by.

@temytayo - its sometimes so hard to fully believe that yours will come through especially if you feel that you have been waiting for a while (like in my case) - but it is good to be encouraged by family and friends (and in your case you mum) - the more you hear the more you can lay hold of that promise - That is why it is so important to hear the word of God - cause thats how we can build our faith - I am so glad that your posts are now back and you are able to leave a coment - it wont have been the same -

@aurasoul - Thanks for stopping by girl - really looking forwad to your future posts.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@ vera and Belle - God's time is definately the best - I pray that I am able to tell very quickly when the time comes.

Dilch said...

I like this post, I wish I had read it when it came out - haven't been here for a while, i've been missing out.......

Anonymous said...

THIS IS THE QUESTION I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR THE PAST 6 YRS . THIS IS THOROUGHLY ENCOURAGING . I GUESS WE SHOULD KNOW THAT GOD HAS HIS OWN TIME OF DOING THINGS . REMEMBER HANNAH AND ABRAHAM IN THE BIBILE AND WHAT GOD DID THRU THEIR STORIES
STAY BLESSED AND THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGMENT

Eagle's Nest!!! said...

What's up with your blog, beloved in the Lord? Una dey recycle post? Okay! God is working on your man, teaching him how to love you as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for her. So, when your man shows up, his life will exude Christ in all ramifications - Humility, Purity, Gentleness, Endurance, Tolerance, Joy, and most importantly FAITHFULNESS, LOVE and RESPECT for you. So it is worth the wait.

God never fails! He never fails!!

classybabe said...

We always tend to get impatient with God when we think he is not answering our prayers,but we forget he is not saying NO,but saying Not yet.God's time is really the best and i have learnt to be patient with him and things usually turn out better than anticipated

mystoriesmytestimonies said...

well written..
i just read ur post today...
...God answered my question for today thru this post.....

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You're such a blessing! Thank you so much and God bless you tons

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