Thursday, December 14, 2006

I'm secretly jealous - that has to be the only explanation!!!

For all those who would like to know what’s happening with my pastor friend – We’ve (I've) decide to stay just friends. No matter how hard I prayed I never could see a light at the end of the tunnel. My mother also confirmed the lack of the yes answer. After getting used to the idea and prayer agreement with the saints (in my church here), my pastor friend was able to walk away knowing in heart it is well. He was the man I had asked for, down to every specification on my list (except for the heart surgeon – which I probably will not have LOL) – but I’m learning that not everything that looks feels and meets good is right for me. For some reason it wasn’t him or if it were this is not the time. What can I say – I have let my lover go. The Lover of my soul still remains though. We are still tight as ever.

The title of this post is there for a reason. For those of you who have been following my blog will understand my latest predicament. My young guy friends are all married (imagine) who said men as young as 25 don’t know the meaning of the word commitment. My guys do. So I have this last friend that is still single. He wants to retire at the age of 40 so has been working very hard with his business his work and his forum. He is very good at what he does. I was sort of happy cause we could be single together and so seeing as he’s more focused on his work, the love bug might not be hitting him anytime soon.

So back in the day I had this girlfriends – I call them my Liverpool crew (they were all from Liverpool – myself from Chester – I’ve had so many crew – its becoming ridiculous) – we loved our crew cause it was made up of 10 girls all Igbo (bar one) – and every where we went people took notice. We felt beautiful – we were beautiful (I wont tell a lie) – LOL – and after my undergraduate years I moved cites, back up north of England to do my doctorate. We always kept in contact with each other, whenever people would have a house or club party they always invited us – the crew – never one person – all of us – one of us ended up being a hip hop artist (I’m sure after this I will no longer be anonymous). So that was also one of the things that kept us tight.

So there was this girlfriend of mine from the crew (lets call her JC) – I knew her from my main friend PB – who is now an up and coming hip hop artist (and is now saved – praise the LORD). One fine Saturday morning in the month of august, as I was conversing with my last single guy friend (lets call him Bdady) – I had this feeling that I wanted to call and speak to JC to see how she was – so as I was trying to get off the phone, Bdady said he could call her for me that I don’t have to spend my money and we could have a two way conversation (so knowing the cheapskate that I was) – I agreed. We called JC we spoke for a while, I introduced her to my brother Bdady and that was it. He said she came across as rude. I mean who cares; I wasn’t trying to do a link. So Bdady wakes up one Monday morning in the month of December, finds this number on his list of international calls – thought what the goodness and called the number to find who this number belonged to. My JC answered, they started sending emails and she tells him she’s coming to New York the following Monday. So my Bdady calls me all excited (this is not like him) – so he tells me the following week my JC was in New York – erm ok she didn’t call to tell me. No problem. They were supposed to be linking up this weekend – both Friday and Saturday – but he calls me to tell me he’s on his way to meet her mid week. What the goodness – What is happening!!! – what happened to being single TOGETHER – So he meets her, I spoke to JC – aah the voice of my good friend – we still caught joke – I guess it was all the travelling and the busy schedule that’s why she hasn’t called. Whichever, she sounded well. So I called Bdady very late in the evening – boy where are you? Don’t you know you need to be driving home, you have a long drive ahead of you and you have to be at work very early in the morning? He’s still there, having fun – laughing with his teeth wide open. I went to bed. As I lay on my bed, I wondered why I shouldn’t be happy that my Bdady is having a good time with my JC. It dawned on me, that maybe because I really might just be the last single left – even in my Liverpool crowd and misery loves company. I just might not have any more brothers to speak with, cause I’m quickly running out of single friends, and don’t want to be that single friend that is friends with the married folks. So I’m secretly jealous – that has to be the only explanation, why else? - Because all that money he was going to spend on our outing together when I hit New York will have to be spent on another. Oh well. It looks like our single together days might just be over. Adieu bro, adieu Bdady – that elusive love he never had time for might just hit him without realisation. JC is a good person and so is Bdady. They do look good together if I must say so myself. I just wished I had more time with our single together days.

101 comments:

zioner said...

i think i would feel thesame way too...lol, we're human jo.rejoice for them cos the world will rejoice with you at God's appointed time. hmm, u have a doctorate eh, will u be my mentor??? *kidding* have a blessed one.

Jaycee said...

As serious as the post is, mennn...that was a funny way of putting everything together...the way to see things is that sometimes the most special people in life are usually the last the get hitched up. I think it is because God is taking time out to prepare the man that is meant for you, and also God wants to take His time in bringing you to maturity. By the time your man comes for you, you will realize that it was worth the time waiting for a phenomenal experience like that.

angie said...

lol.
Don't worry, ur single days r numbered!!!
i have noticed too that guys get married quite early these days.

azuka said...

Patience, patience...

I'd say God is taking his time to get you a good package.

Dipo Tepede said...

The last shall be the first;

the rejected shall be the chief of the corner

Dont give up; God is molding the best.

Your joy shall be turned into dancing

When your captivity has been turned around, you would seem like them that dream.

Watch out for Lafter shall fill your face!

Olawunmi said...

if we all got what we wanted at the time that we desired it, would we ever learn to appreciate our blessings? keep your head up.

and as for your friends, there's something about your being the last of the mohicans that resonates within me. as yet another of my boys hands over his life savings in the form of a gold band decorated with a glittering stone, i realise more and more that there are fewer of us left on the train of bachelorhood.

we were created to live in pairs, so in time....

e go beta.

Olawunmi said...

and it is pretty obvious that you're jealous. lol. its human abeg.

cherub said...

HA! So u secretly planned on coming to NY without informing me. I see Bdaddy and JC SITTING ON A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Anyways, ur singleness is just for a period of time. In his time, remember he makes all things beautiful. Have a fabulous weekend and please reply my mail jere.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@Cherub - that was exactly what I was thinking but thought it would be too childish to write down. They really are having a good time without me - sniff sniff - Takig too much of my time talking about JC - how fine she is and laid back - OK OK I know - Spoilt spot - But I know Im secretly happy for them - he deserves to be happy so does she - I just wished we had like 6 more months single together - is that so hard to ask for!!

@olawunmi - Is it really that obvious - I was thinking there might be other explanations but ths one seems to be the only one that keeps coming to my mind..why are there so few of us - ooh well!!

@dipo - I claim it oo - I shall be first - That lafter must hit me soon - Amen.

@azuka - I will be patient - A good package I shall receive. I speak positively into my situation. Amen.

@angie - I claim it too - my single days are over - I really cant be that single friend that is friends with married folks.

@jaycee - I pray so, thanks for chearing me up.

@zioner - Thanks for feeling me jo, and thanks for understanding. Indeed I look forward to God's appointed time, and when my rejoicing will begin.

Anthony Abimbola said...

Who tell you say singles no many again? We full ground berekete for here, just try come see for yourself. We can even fill a city sef. Married ke, at this time?

Cool down for Jesus, our time shall come. Let brother go, better brother with escalade will locate you very soon. I see you carry the grace to be located by heavy guys. The anointing is upon you, receive it now!

Biodun said...

Yeah that sucks, I so feel ur drift. The waiting part aint easy either but there is no choice is there?

Naijalove said...

Sigh I know that feeling, but dont settle my dear, pastor dude was prob not for u anyway, and something great aaits.
Thanks for the welcome, I dont know how interesting my life is, but I know I'm liking the new turn around.

Naijadude said...

If I say I dont know how you feel, I'd be lying, but you know things happen at its own appointed time.
It is coming along spontaneously at the right time.

Diamond said...

if you recall the story of me and S...it's not so much that you're jealous of "them"...it's that you dont want to lose what you have...the comfort zone you settled self in is being disturbed...

temmy tayo said...

It is only human to feel jealoux my dear. You will soon forget the single phase, it will surely pass.

Bare soul said...

I wish I could have said no, like you. 3 years on, there still a nagging feeling saying 'He ain't the one. Allow God to process you. Dont snuff out your achievements before you've made them'. For the most of it, he's all I ever wanted bar one superficial issue, just like yours. The number of times I have tried to end this is ridiculous. The way I fear to hurt such a good man is even worse. Never will I be ignorant of that still quiet voice again, never again. In the mean time, I still pray for God's to find it somewhere in His heart to save me from this bitter-sweet relationship.

You did the right thing girl. Trust me, I know.

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

wish i would say dont know how u feel, but i do i really do, i think im the only single one left of my friends, i have 4 best friends, 3of them r married, one with two kids the other with one an dthe third with one on the way, as in when will i stop being the chief brides maid??? no boyfriend in sight sef!!

temmy tayo said...

@36inches of brown legs: Your boyfi/husband is round the corner

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@anthony abimbla - so there are plenty of you people -lol - its a shame that although I meet them, they disapper very quickly. Now that you've informed me, I bet in 6 months u'll be single no more -

@biodun - I guess so - there really isnt any choice. You just have to wait. Im not complaining too much about the wait, just the company seem to be disappearing pretty sharpish.

@nijalove - thanks for the encouragement. And yes from the sounds of things your life has taken a great turn. I await details.

@hijadude - its true about the time. I know it will happen. Just need some company while I wait.

@diamond - thats exactly how I feel - thanks for reasuring me its not jealousy - just comfort disturbance.

@temmy - Amen. I know it will pass soon. Thanks for the encouragement.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@bare soul - Girl I so understand where you're coming from. And to be in that position is not good. But you need to rememeber, you cant live your life for him, you also deserve to be happy. Becasue he's a good man, leaving him becomes difficult, but you have to remember one day he will get over it. The best way could be to stay friends and slowly loose the tie. All this I want, I dont want again, might cause him to hate you, and it makes you turn into someone you're not. Try your best. See past he's a good man. You are being kind to him. He will appreciate it in the long run. One day he will be grateful. Trust me, this happened to me when I was a lot younger than I am now, the dude ended up hating me. But you know what. We remained as a friends, as In I was the friend he wanted rid, but many years later, he says to me, you really are the best. You're not too bad - I guess it was his way of telling me he once had a negative opinion of me because of what we went through, but when that was put aside, I became me, and me was really alright. He later became a believer. And now is in a serious lasting relationship, with a believer too. Everything will work out, only believe.

@36inches of brown legs - someone that trully understands. Luckily for me, I've always managed to get off the duty of being a chief bridesmaid. They would rather me come and represent my executive self. LOL. But this one cuz, will not leave me be. She will be my first and last. And no one will ever know. LOL. But trust me it is well. For I am persuaded byt eh God that I serve that He will always come true for all of us.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

awwwww.... things are gonna change soon.. AMEN!! you're so cute though 4real

confusednaijagirl said...

Girl we all go through those phases. Its only a matter of time before u find someone. Its great to finally actively blog than being a silent reader

NaijaBloke said...

U r jealous ke ..Hmmm ...TLOASCM ..damn!! u need to shorten ur name one of this days .LOL .. U need a man badly as I can see .. LOL

Hope u r doing aiight babes ..Miss ya too

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

@nb - i dont need a man badly abegoo - just my friends - so u are well eeh and uve been hiding. nice to hear from u.

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