Confused

I have to confess I am indeed one of those that like to make plans (well I don’t have much of a social life, so I guess that explains a great deal), thoroughly enjoy the planning process and look forward to the execution of the plan, but for some reason totally beyond my control, something always comes up that prevents the plan from coming together, which really unsettles me. I hate to admit this, but this has been going on for many years now. And each time am always left wondering what the point of the planning, looking forward and holding on was really about. Especially, when it appears that the seeds I plant always seems to get uprooted. A feeling that tends to overwhelm and move me to a state of confusion.

Genesis 4:6-7: Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

One thing I’ve learnt and found is that whenever am not in the word I tend not to get a firm grip on my emotions. Yet, I keep making this mistake repeatedly, as in when will I learn? I tend to worry a lot, and tend to believe the lie of the enemy. I also tend to forget that it is what Christ says about me that matters at the end, and also that making heaven is actually our most important goal in this life and everything else and the comforts of life is the extras that come when we PLEASE God.

Like in the bible passage example that I gave because Cain lost control of his emotion, he lost out completely in his destiny, I wonder what kind of life it would have been. Am sure it would have been filled with so much regret. And even if we were to repent of our mistakes the damage has already been done, not just to the person but also to you, and to your relationship. I guess Cain didn’t think much of his brother Abel, lacked respect, and probably thought he was the reason for his problems. A feeling of being unappreciated and being surrounded with so much negativity. And so aptly narrated by David, in Psalm 41:9 - "Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me"

My life should be a life of commitment, that my Yes be Yes and No be No. That everything I have said I would do, and given my word to do to stick to it. I am tired of having a story to tell or a reason why something I said I would do didn’t get done. I want to be able to make a difference with my life, that this 2009 will no longer be a year of planting and uprooting, and that every thing I sow will remain planted and no longer uprooted by MY hand.

So TODAY wonderful saviour, I ask thee oh Lord to help me MASTER my emotions, so that it will not lead me to a life time filled with regret. Open my eyes Lord to see what is happening around me, and understand the devices of the enemy. Help me Lord to be a committed Christian. Let my word determine my behaviour and help me Lord to do YOUR will and not mine. Let your power be revealed in my life and empower me for Holy living. That no more stories be associated with my life. For indeed I am a city on a hill. Lord this year I pray for your Wisdom as I plan my affairs. I no longer want to suffer for lack of knowledge of the devices of the enemy (Hosea 4:6 God tells us, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."). Help me Lord to be always vigilant and ready with your armour to combat the desires of the Flesh (Ephesians 6:10-17; Romans 12:1-2). Dear Lord, I want to be the man you spoke of in Malachi 2:5-6 - 5 "My covenant was with him, a covenant of life and peace, and I gave them to him; this called for reverence and he revered me and stood in awe of my name. True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin. I don’t want to take you dear Lord for granted. Not to mistake your love and your coming to my level as to do however I please. I don’t want to be contemptuous of You. I want to know what You want from me Lord, and things you don’t want from me. Dear Lord I want to live a life filled with your spirit. A life worthy of You. I know that what I’ve gone through and am going through have been a time of the sifting period (Luke 22:31-32), removing the things in me that does not bring glory to you, Lord I ask even in these times help me not to sin against you, and that my faith will stand the test of time.

What have you done lately?