From Osi with Love - MINE

I have recently acquired a new friend. I’m truly excited. Except that he lives in England (that’s not so bad) and his phone bill is sky rocketing (this is bad). He truly is a magnificent and wonderful fellow and I’m glad that the Lord sent him my way. He really is quite refreshing, funny, witty and without a doubt sweet. Our outlook on life and the daily struggles of trying to find our purpose was something we scarily had in common. And we’ve decided to encourage each other along. He is very much single, so at least we can be single together (at least for the next 6months – but nothing is guaranteed – right!! He sent me one of the many articles he’s written (oh did I forget to mention that he is also a poet). After reading many of his fine work, I pleaded with him to let me post this one. He has. From Osi with Love - Mine

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Every once in a while my heart wanders to times long gone. Memories sweet and bitter, dreams long abandoned and forgotten back to hunt me. There is a conflict between faded fantasies and new aspirations. The feeling is hard to explain, impossible to place as good or bad. I feel trapped yet free, my heart feels heavy but light. I feel wrapped in a seamless cloud of joy and sadness.

My heart wanders. The one thing on my mind is the beauty and innocence of childhood, the perfect and pure smile of a toddler, his wrinkle free face that neither feels nor understands the pain of this world. Without fear of the days to come, with complete trust he staggers as he explores the world. His world is pure and without selfish motives. No Matter how many times he stumbles he is up again. Failure never holds him back; he knows nothing about selfish motives. Without pride or shame he cries with all his heart. With the same energy he laughs as he rolls in the dust.

How I miss those days. Times when my youthful mind was pure. Back then I was in a hurry to get out of bed because there was work to be done. There was a world to touch. The 14 year old boy could give his whole heart to a course he believed in. Now my mind is dragged away by so many things. The alarm clocks don’t get me out of bed any more. It only tells me how many more hours I can give to sleep. I look in the mirror and I am shocked at the man I have become. The receding hair line and the extra wrinkles I can stand, but the drifted heart tears me apart. How did it come to this? Where did I fail? How have I failed?

Once again I find it hard to get on my feet, so I remain on my knees and ask for help. I know He has not given up on me. He never gives up on us. Time slips but I must hold on. I must fight to keep the dreams of my youth alive. To live life to the full, to experience the reason I am and return to my essence.

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