Where is My MAN?!!!!!!

I had and still have a good friend whose sister was 6 years older than we were. We were in our late teens and we always wondered why she was still single. I always liked staying over at her sister’s place – she was always fun to be with – but all she ever talked about was men, relationships and men. We didn’t quite understand her, we always thought to ourselves – how can it be so difficult to find a man, when there were so many handsome men – Just strolling down the street – there were men galore – or is the dudes in the clubs – F- I- N- E. We always visualised ourselves by the age of 25 –married and settled and done everything we needed to have done – and the age we were then to be fun time age. We always had this look on our face that said her sister worried too much. Some years after that – I went to stay at her sisters place yet again – she was still doing the same talk routine. Men – relationships – men. She was slightly on the heavy side – and so we assumed that could be the reason why she was still not married at her age. As a last result – she started going to this Pentecostal church in North London – and left after many months – apparently the pastor had had an affair and appropriated some church fund. She was still searching for her Mr Right but she was now doing it in all the wrong places. At that time, I really never understood why she was still single – and why she was finding it difficult to find a man.

As the years progressed, so did my age, and I found myself again in the position I once found difficult to understand when I was a tad younger than I am now. Was in my mid twenties and very much single. As I looked around me – in my circle of friends – I found that they were all married / or were in a lasting relationship – All working for the Lord and enjoying the presence of their companion as they embraced the work of the Lord. I wasn’t sure if I was finding it difficult to accept – or was it the fact that it was always brought to my attention – but it appeared that I was always asked about it. Causing me to feel - when previously the thoughts had never crossed my mind. It got to a point the meetings I had with my pastors increased – I was having more regular meetings with my pastor than I would have expected. The topic – how are you feeling? Or how do you feel when you hear that J, T, K, Di, E, Da, and countless others were getting married – my answer would always remain I am very happy for them – and the Will of God is being realised in their life. For some of them – I had to pray with them and for them - for God to reveal and confirm to them that their partner was their partner – so I was very much present during the entire process of the courtship – Especially there during their highs and their lows – and I guess it was probably why the pastors insisted on seeing me on a more regular basis – concerning my relationships – or lack of it – It had to effect me in one way or the other – psychologically or emotionally. I was ripe to be categorised as a woman who might be if not desperate to settle down – I had many opportunities to feel sorry for myself. My mum who had been a lobbyist of the idea of me marrying at the age her sisters got married (30 yrs and above) – started her fasting and praying routine when it dawned on her that her daughter in her circle of friends was the only single left – She stepped up – changed her entire strategy – and was now lobbying must marry in mid to late twenties -

But I’m glad that even though some days might be difficult – The Word of the Lord says in Isaiah 34 vs. 16 -17 – “None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together. 17. He allots their portions; His hand distributes them by measure. They will possess it forever. And in Numbers 23 vs. 19 – He reassures us that He does not lie – and as He planned it so will it be and as He purposed it so will it stand [Isa 14 vs. 24; Isa 46 vs. 11; Isa 45 vs. 23; Jer 4 vs. 28 [end]; Jer 29 vs. 11], That He has not forgotten us – Isa 49 vs. 15-16 , that I will never be disappointed in Him [vs. 23 end], because the words that go out of His mouth concerning me/ us will not return to Him empty []Isa 54 vs. 11].

What do I mean by difficult – recalling and recanting the past – wondering why I had to go through what I had to go through – emotionally – men of no valour – His words tells me to forget what had happened in my past – and look forward to what He is doing, asking me if I still don’t see it [Isa 43 vs. 18-19] – that I had to go through what I went through cause He is teaching me what is best for me [Isa 48 vs. 17] – and He disciplines me because of His Love for me [Heb 12 vs. 6-7]. I am not saying that He is to be blamed for my mistakes or “wayo” men coming my way LOL – but I am saying that even in that He was and still is in control.

So even though – many would come to me and wonder why I’m still single – saying is it because she has read too much that she thinks she’s too good for our men, or she’s single because no man is good enough – my consolation is that the word of God tells me that I should not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults []Isa 51 vs7], and because He helps me I will not fear disgrace [Isa 50 vs. 7; Isa 54 vs. 4]. His time is the best time. It is better to wait and have what He has given to you, than to rush to take what He has not given to you. So celebrate your age. God only knows how to give good things – He can’t give bad things – so those days when you cry yourself to sleep – feeling sorry for yourself – think about how you are wasting useful tears that you could use when the time to rejoice arrives – because yes days might be hard – but as long as there is noon time and harvest time, as long as My God is on The Throne – what He has promised He will bring to pass – Yes it might seem too long – and yes you might ask the question why you and what makes you different from the others – The difference is YOU – you have been made differently – and Your portion is different – Remember He has caused your boundary line to fall on pleasant places for YOU and your lot already secure [Psalm 16 vs. 5-6]. So break up unploughed ground – Your season to be blessed has arrived. And the Lord has remembered you.