I was Dying But Now I LIVE

Completely Healed.

On the 12th of october this year, I hadn't been feeling too well all day and was trying to sit out the dizzy spells. Whenever I feel lightheaded I always try and sit still for as long as it took to get rid. I also asked a collegue for an aspirin.. yes.. I do have a pharmacy background and know aspirins are "anti-inflammatory's" and so should be used "if" pain is felt. Well I did say I was abit dilerious. I took 400mg, and still didnt feel any better.

After visiting the bathroom I decided at 9.45pm to do a final check before I left for home, but as I tried to stand I collapsed and fell in my office becoming unconcious. Was on the floor for many minutes, before I heard the footsteps of my collegues. I woke up, tried to make a dash for my door when they asked me if I was coming with them. As I told them to give me just five minutes, I became unconcious again. They were afraid, called the paramedics, as I was going in and out of unconciousness - 4 times before the paramedics had arrived and again twice when I was with them.

I doubt my collegues will forget that day in a hurry. When I was taken to the hospital, the doctor found out I was anaemic, to the point where I had lost half of my blood. But how could this have happened. Well, as they tried to keep me in / admit me, I remembered my mum " saying to myself, they will not kill my mum for me" God-forbid if she was to hear I was in the hospital. I discharged myself immediately, promising to visit a GP at the earliest, and to start an Iron treatment as soon as possible. My collegue who was with me begged me to stay but I refused. We had only walked a few steps when we realised there were no taxis outside, and as he went back to get the receptionist to call one, he heard a man running screaming in Italian, "there is a lady dying outside". Well the doctors ran out, carried me onto a trolly and wheeled me into the main part of the hospital before I could say "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". lol.

I was then held hostage in the hospital and was not going to be let out until my Haemoglobin count got to 8.0. The doctors were very confused and baffled on the reason a young gal like me could have lost alot of blood, and after all the tests could not find anything. Every thing was fine, but I was still loosing blood.

The Lord had surrounded me with such nice people to work with that I had visitors constantly, bringing me food, fruits, gifts that I will never consider buying for myself, flowers,, so much love. I got all the "hot" nightware stuff, slippers, new clothes, tons of sucks, Coco Madmoselle by Chanel to keep me smelling fresh.. so much gifts, that some of my visitors wished they were in my bed instead of me. My mum who had boarded the next flight out to take me back to the UK for specialist treatment was amazed with the treatment that I had that she was happy that I was in the right place.

The doctors decided to give me stuff to fix my stomach walls (just incase it was leaking out through there), after which my HB count started to rise. But they still didn't know what could have caused it. The day before I was due to be discharged (which was Monday October 22nd), the doctors decided to do a final test for a certain bacteria, and there it was, there was a bacteria embedded in my duodenum (over 25.8%) that had made little holes in my stomach causing my blood to leak, and the aspirin didn't help too much cause it had thinned out my blood and increased the blood flow. Aparantly you can contract it as a child through water.. lol.. (hmmmm what dirty water have I been drinking.lol..). So there it was. I never felt any pain, and the silly thing was just there making all this holes and just increasing its population..lol.. To think I almost went home with them in my stomach still..lol.. I have now finished my course on antibiotics..

To say that my steps were ordered by God is so evident, because if my collegues weren't at work that late, or if I had gone home earlier that day, I would have gone from being unconcious to starving my brain of oxygen and then slipped into a coma without anyone knowing. I say this, because the nurses kept waking me up the first four nights I was there to make sure I was still in the land of the living..lol.. And again because I walked home down a steep path with a nice waterfall flowing by, I could have just have fallen and no one would know I was there.

So I want to take this opportunity to thank God for the supernatural miracle He did for me, and how He surrounded me with people so that when the enemy tried his best, the ones for me were greater than the ones against. I was discharged on Tuesday the 23rd of October.

So my blogpals keep giving out crazy praise to God, for I was dying, and now I LIVE.

Thank YOU

My love to all and heart fealt thanks to all those who prayed and contacted me during my stint (12 days to be more precise) in the hospital (will elaborate another day).

To say that the Lord is indeed a healer is an understatement considering what He did for me. He is my ROCK and Salvation, the Love of my Life and my body guard. In the darkest hour, He refused to let me be sifted, for He had already spoken a word concerning my Life, and because He is not a man to lie nor the son of man to change His mind, He used His own hands to bring about my healing so that the Words He had already spoken He will bring to pass.

I love you all, and Thank You again.

RESULT!!!!!!!

His Words says in Psalm 18 vs. 43 -46:

"Thou hast delivered me from the strivings of the people; and thou hast made me the head of the heathen: a people whom I have not known shall serve me. As soon as they hear of me, they shall obey me: the strangers shall submit themselves unto me. The strangers shall fade away, and be afraid out of their close places".

The Lord is indeed a wonder - all I can do is but testify of His goodness. Today was thE Board meeting I blogged about many weeks back. And even though I trembled before the presence of men who have caused impacts in their field of science, the Lord helped me ALSO to stand. To think that little me, was able to present to such an audience and STILL came out smelling like roses was quite an achievement.

This was not the first time I have had to present, I have been presenting my work for over 5years now, but this one was a little different. The future livelihood of the centre and its existence depended on my skill of expertise and my ability to wow the directors who would then relay back to the funding body if a further 5years should be granted after 2010.

But I stood on His word in psalm 18 vs. 43 - 46; and took captive of their mind to make them obedient to Christ Jesus. I am glad to say I had an excellent presentation (If I say so myself - and was very well congratulated by the board). Now I pray that they will grant the centre their requests.

My position here was created for such a day like this, and the centre was proud to announce the recruitment of their top expert “which apparently was Me" - lol.

The Lord has spoken that I will be the Head. And nothing can reverse His words. So even though I felt that I was going to go out and disgrace my God, because He gave me this position and I was foolishly wasting it, He still stood by me irrespective of my stupidity. Thank you Lord, for not treating me as my sins deserve. Today I am a leading biologist. Who would have thought it?

Okay, I HAVE Got to give God some CRAZY praise!!

My church here in Verona had dedicated a three day fast (for the last three days of the month of September) that was to end on Sunday. I partly joined – well to tell the truth I really didn’t. You see I don’t have breakfast here, because its coffee and croissant (whatever), have a huge lunch (courtesy of you know who), and no dinner (cause of the fear of getting fat). So in all, technically it could be said I already fast, so I will be deceiving God, when I know I already don’t eat after a certain time. So I chose to pray more and read the bible (the bible part – well not as much as I would have hoped).

So on Saturday I told myself wouldn’t it be funny if I woke up late and missed my train on the day to break the fast and I WAS LEADING Worship. I told myself what nonsense. I rebuked that thought immediately. I woke up on time, but for some reason was dillydallying, and looked at my time 22 minutes before my train leaves. I almost fell on the floor. You see it’s a half an hrs walk to the train, and I haven’t been feeling too well so wasn’t sure how I would get to the train on time. I screamed so loud, carried my back pack and made a dash for the door (the buses are hourly, already missed it). I started to run. My heart, lungs whatever gave way. I could no longer breathe (after 1 meter - I am so unfit – don’t let my mountain climbing deceive you). I decided to hitch a ride, no one would stop (why would they, black girls here stop cars for you know what). I started to run again, telling myself I won’t make it, but had to rebuke the thought, and started to tell myself I will. As I made a run for the roads, from nowhere a lady stopped. She spoke no English, but said “stazione” I nodded and she took me there. I was so grateful. I got to the station train was delayed by 10mins. Was upset for stressing myself, but this was the beginning.

I finally got on the train, arrived in Verona the same time I usually arrive, but my pickup had been and gone (he was very early – wanted to get to the church on time cause it’s a very significant day). I called him, he was on some different network that charged like a Euro per min, ended up telling him I’ll get the bus and to inform the choir that I wont be able to lead worship – will be late (also called Pastor to tell him), but forgot to get the bus number. Tried to call back to find out, credit finished. I was like, OK then I’m going home. Don’t know where I was going, and can’t be getting a taxi, where will I tell the driver to take me. As I contemplated going home, I saw some of my church members, their bus had been delayed. As in I thanked God for seeing them.

We waited, bus was still nowhere in sight, so I offered to pay for taxi, so we could at least make it to church. When we got there, I still managed to lead the Worship, Most amazing service, and GOD confirmed the words He spoke to me during my last week in Blacksburg at the family conference meeting. I was now more than sure that God had purposely brought me to this country. It was simply an amazing service. Finally when the pastors dropped me off at the train station to get my train, there were no trains.

I waited and waited nothing. I wasn’t sure what to do, there were too many people at the train station, and I thought something big was going down in Verona. After an hr and a half wait, I decided to get myself on the cue and try my non-existent Italian at the ticket people to find out what was happening.

On joining the cue I spoke to this German lady who spoke English who informed me that there was a National Strike. The train drivers were ON STRIKE – and only my Line was affected. Yes can you imagine a national strike but only MY line was affected. The train Italia was on strike from 9pm Saturday to 9pm Sunday, but only trains coming and going to my end were cancelled.

I was also informed that there should never have been any train (as in under normal circumstance I should not have been in Verona that day). It was plastered every where that no trains will be running (which obviously I couldn’t read), and it was just random that there was that train from nowhere that morning. It was the only random train that ran that day to Verona.

The only train that should have left during that Strike period was 9.21pm train on Sunday evening from Trento.

So you see I had to have gotten on that train, because God had made a way for me to get to Verona to hear what he had for me. And for some reason I wasn’t supposed to attend that service (under normal circumstance). Sometimes I wonder, who am I that He is so mindful of me.

People at work are shocked that I made it to Verona on Sunday morning, like no way, there shouldn’t be any train, and even if there was, they would stop during the strike period on the tracks, never getting to the destination. But Here I was, on a strike day, on a random train that got me to my destination. And I was on it to hear the message GOD had for me.

Yes I ended up staying for 5 hrs at the train station to catch the 9pm train back, but I didn’t mind the wait, because the Lord pulled out all the stops for me to get there, and Hear what He wanted me to know.

So my message to you is, don’t worry you can never loose out with God. When He has something for you, He'll pull out all the stops to make sure you get. So keep giving God crazy praise because He is more than ABLE and can move mountains just for you only.

Promises of Restoration

Hey you.

Yes you.

I am talking to you.

Did I just hear you talk about me. Did I just hear you just try to muffle a laugh concerning what you’ve just heard about me. Wow. Keep on doing what you are doing – Did you not know that my sorry state has caused God to make a promise to me – to restore my fortunes and have compassion on me.

Ahh, I see, you didn’t know of His promises of restoration in Jeremiah 33 vs. 1 – 26. Come on over and I will recite it to you.

This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it —the LORD is his name:

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

I will bring health and healing to You; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.

I will bring (You) back from captivity and will rebuild you as you were before.

I will cleanse You from all the sin You have committed against me and will forgive all Your sins of rebellion against me.

Then You will bring me renown, joy, praise and honour before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for You; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for You.'

You say You are a desolate waste, but there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the LORD, saying,

"Give thanks to the LORD Almighty, for the LORD is good; his love endures forever."

For I will restore the fortunes of You as they were before,' says the LORD.

The days are coming,' declares the LORD, 'when I will fulfill the gracious promise I made to You.

You will be saved, and You will live in safety. For God is the LORD Our Righteousness.'

This is what the LORD says: 'If you can break my covenant with the day and my covenant with the night, so that day and night no longer come at their appointed time, then my covenant with You —can be broken - which we know is impossible

“Have you not noticed that these people are saying, 'The LORD has rejected You? So they despise You and no longer regard You. This is what the LORD says: 'If I have not established my covenant with day and night and the fixed laws of heaven and earth, then I will reject You. – But we know our God is a convenant keeping God.

For I will restore Your fortunes and have compassion on You.

Laughing at me!!

So I've been walking everywhere, you know doing the training, trying to look / keep looking buff, as I am getting older you see, so all I have is my HOTNESS. So got to keep it, can't be eating all this Italian food and no excercise. I will not be recognisable. lol.

So on Sunday, I was running late so decided to walk fast / run / jog to the train station wearing my church clothes. Couldn't help but have a sweaty arm, so I said to myself, "who cares really, those choir members will not sing moving songs, so I dont have to wave my hand too much so no one will see the sweat marks" - I could just fold it. And no one will see. " Make sure you keep your hands by your waist".

Thats how I got to the church, really tried not to wave my hands, until the pastors wife came and did her thing. Immediately I started to laugh, as in peeps must have thought I was crazy. I kept laughing thinking that this God must have a sense of humour. The one time, I had told myself, to make sure my arms were fastened to my waist was the one time this woman said "wave your hands" and praise God with your waves. Show Him what He means to you, and blah blah.. I was Holy Spirit why now, you want to just disgrace me lolol.. But I obeyed, lifted it so high and wide (obedience is better than sacrifice). And thinking who cares if my rep goes, what matters is my rep with God.

This sunday was just amazing. All the things I had thought of, tried not to do, been worried about, even times I wondered if it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me - this sunday I felt a rebirth and I remembered His words in - 1 Thes. 5 vs. 16 -21 - Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good.

So here's to holding on. I am breaking up unploughed ground, for it is time for me to reap the fruit of unfailing love (Hosea 10 vs. 12).

So Aparantly I am a WORLD expert..

This is why they want to kill me at work with exessive work, and because they want plenty more money for their research from "Micro" they want to parade me, so that I can bambozzole them into agreeing. I mean who sent them. I've been trying to hide jejely, surfing the net, appearing on Facebook 5 zillions times a day, but now that I have been exposed all this "ego" they have been paying me I must "regurgitate" it all.

Ok so I just came back from a meeting. The next coming months will indeed be interesting months in "the life of a stranger". I need God's deliverance and favour. As in these people think I'm some "okoko" woman like that, that knows it all.. God please this your favour must shine forth. Because as I see things, hmmm, only God can make my light shine infront of all this big guns. Even this Process Calculus technique, the word process is even confusing me..

Ok let me go back and see if I can just "smusheeel .. concurt.. wharever" something.

Hmmm so it has started... it has started in earnest I am afraid to say...

Father Help me, biko forgive me for not doing anything this last many months, and just coming to work for the sake of it, and appearing intelligent. It is now that they will know that I am really an empty vessel... please don't expose me just yet.. I beg..

Update

aaahh I need something to do that is not work related. Anyone fancies coming and teaching me how to have fun by myself. Better still come and have it with me. This is a public invitation. I'm beginning to pull out my hair.. scream.. I am Bored of hanging with myself for so long and just coming to work. It is always me myself and I. Then I walk home for one hr late at night by myself. Then I go to an ampty house. Sleep and start the day again. Surely there is more to life than this. I'm slowly slipping away...... I try and plan fun stuff with collegues.. but they all have their lives to lead.. so I am always back to me. I LOVE Me don't get me wrong, but I've been hanging with me now for so long now. Me is boring the living daylights out of me.

I've not been feeling myself

I think I'll give mountain climbing a break. I think I've overdone many things right now. Just two days ago, I could barely climb 1200 meters, can you imagine? Was so exhusted, but still managed to get to the top. The climbers with me noticed I wasn't my cherry self. They felt bad, aww, that they ruined my day by making me hike to the top with them. They didn't realise, like all things, some things must come to an end. Regardless of how long you've been doing it or been at it. Exhustion doen't bring out the best in people. Can actually push people away. So I don't want my new found best friends to go. So I will make time to rest. Mean while, they want me to cycle with them for 40miles to the next town. You know me and my amebo self will want to join them, because I want to always be there for all the LIVE actions. Don't want to miss out. lol.

Meanwhile on other news, I have been asked to lead the worship section in my new church. I did'nt say I was a great singer, I can just carry tunes..lol..But I thank God for this opportunity and pray that I can use what little He's given me to sing praises to HIM.

I miss sista B and kel called wonder. Please people call me now. Kelly, throw that phone away it doesn't work.

My peace have gone, he exclaimed!

"Fifi burst into the room where I had sat for a little while trying to get the gist of what it was I was reading" - She said.

She was filled with pain. She looked like she had been crying for days on end, "in a little bit of a rush" she said to me. Do you know any lawyers? She asked. I need some legal advice. And I don't have much money. I need to find an affordable one.

I was a little confused. She couldn't tell me why she needed one, except that it was very urgent she found one. I had gone through a divorce proceeding before so I knew how to locate one. Besides I was surrounded by many, so I suggested - she contacted the citizen’s advice bureau, on catford high road, and ask for legal aid. I also jotted down, all the lawyers on the south London area, and quickly laid my hands on a news paper I was reading earlier to look for any lawyers advertising their services.

After all my efforts, she left with all the information I had found, and her burden a little lifted. I started to wonder why she would need one, and for what reason. You see Fifi, was the best friend anyone could ever have, but we were never close. I knew her through a friend of a friend and also through that friend I heard that she was now married and had a handsome son.

The next day, Fifi came to me again, I smiled and said to her, we need to stop meeting like this. She told me she was looking for a job, whatever it was she would do. I suggested we stepped into the MacDees next door to have some coffee and discuss her options. When we entered we were met by their care assistants, who told us they were hiring people for Wednesday nights. Fifi looked at me and said, “I want to apply”. I looked at her and replied, “I will join you”. She was shocked and said to me, could anyone of your calibre ever want to reduce her standards to help a friend. I smiled and replied; only the humble and secure in the Lord can. I am not proud, and working here doesn't reduce who I am in Christ Jesus, neither does it have any influence on my confidence. I will join you, and donate my earnings towards your cause. She smiled a little, yet still refusing to tell me what had entangled her so.

Many evenings had passed, before I decided to call in on Fifi. I've never been to her house before, neither have I ever met her husband and son. I knocked on her door. She came to the door opened it, and let me in. She looked like she hadn’t been out all day, was in her night wear and her husband and son was no where in sight. She started to wail, and said, “My husband no longer lets me touch him. He is disgusted by the mere sight of me, and every time I go to him in our marital bed, he pushes me out and calls me names”. She stopped after that, and left the living room, pacing from one end of her house to the next. I didn’t have the opportunity to try and console her, she looked like she was on a one way destination to breakdown and there was no return from there. As the evening progressed, so also did her dementia.

I waited patiently, in her living room, not sure what else to do, the whole house was filled with darkness as she refused to put any of the lights on, so I sat in that darkness. She was no longer forthcoming with any more information.

As I waited I heard the front door open. Her husband stepped in, and with her son asleep in his little car seat. He must have thought she was alone in the house or no one was in. He lit the hall way light, I stood up from the chair I sat on, she went to greet him, he saw her and as he turned away from her, he saw me. I saw in his eyes, he too was filled with pain. He started to look at me intently, and could no longer hold the pain. He started to cry, a grown man crying. He started to walk again towards the door on his way out, and said to me – “ask her what she did. Ask her why she’s stained so badly. Ask her why her brother has refused to settle down, and her sister will never get married. Ask her what manner of family she comes from. Ask her, why she couldn’t come to me before”.

In that moment it all made sense. “She was raped by her father as a child along with all her siblings”. She was too ashamed to tell her husband. And only after they got married did she tell him.

I ran to her immediately, I held her in my arms tight and refused to let her go. She tried to wriggle her way out, and I refused to let her force her way out. I must have held her what felt like forever, when she finally spoke. In her pain she asked me “what manner of person are you, and why will you not let me die in my pain. I’ve only heard and met you a few times, but I’ve never known you. Yet you decided to trust me and stick with me regardless of whatever my situation was. You have been a good friend to me, never asking me questions, but always going out of your way to help me”.

I didn’t know what to say, and without thinking, words started pouring out of my mouth, as if someone was speaking through me. I reminded her of how precious and important she was to everyone and more importantly how much God loves her. I said to her “that the only mistake you made was not telling him about your past”. By this omission she had broken his trust and the peace that he had. What infuriated him more was the fact that she could not trust him enough and be open about her past before they got married. He wondered if she was unable to tell him about this, what more could she be hiding. These thoughts continued to fill his mind and the only way to show her how much she hurt him was to taunt her with it instead.

She had come to me for legal advice because she was going to bring her father accountable for what he did in a bid to save her marriage and regain the trust of her husband. As he went out to try and get away in his car, something constrained him. He could no longer move but weep in the car for the innocence of his wife that was lost and how the pain of her past was now trying to ruin his once blissful marriage. This night was the first night he had said any words to her concerning how he felt since that fateful day she told him. He braced himself. Carried their son back into the house and said to her – “my peace have gone. And I have no way of ever getting it back”.

I realised, I was brought into that family, into that situation for such a time. And that the only way to be an effective friend in such situation is to let them ask for your help. The first time Fifi sought my help was the first day she came to see me, but I had to wait until the right time to be effective. Yet the Lord had brought our paths closer ten years previous for such a time. People come into your life for a reason and for a season; only in that season can you bring that needed change. I was brought into Fifi’s life for ten years, but was only needed to be effective after many years had passed.

Fifi and her husband were able to work through their problems because God was able to use She, who made herself available to be used. We must always make ourselves available to be used by God in our everyday life. Fifi never really knew much about She, but when she had no where else to turn she remembered Her. Her relationship with God was the gist of their crowd, and Her refusal to compromise was the talk of their circle. And because of the way She lived, God used Her to be effective in bringing closure and much needed healing to Fifi and her family.

So I ask you today. What kind of Christian are you? And most importantly, what manner of friend are you? Can God use your life to bring healing, restoration and hope to those around you?

slumming it in Venice

Slumming it in a jolly camp in venezia. Its been fun catching up with baby sisters back packing through Italy. And might I add, I thought back packing meant walking, running and catching buses and trains. Well these two are back packing flying. Can you imagine? They are flying all around Italy with a back pack. Anyways. I am supposed to be slumming it with them this weekend in Venezia. After one night, I / We have left jolly camping for my nice apartment in trento. Enough of all these mosquito bites. This was not the life I was born to live.

From Italia with Love.

Update

I've been told by a collegue that Napoli should have been an awsome visit, and that next time I should get a guide. So I'm doing a repeat performace on the 7th of september. Ok, let me tell the truth, I LURVEEEE my jeans so much, I'm going to go buy 5 more pairs..lol.. maybe this time I will get a guide - to see napels and then fully understand the saying "see Napels and die" - obviously I will not die yet. I will live to a ripe old old age. Still looking hot in my D and G jeans by the way. lol.

I know how it feels to be a wedding crasher!!

So my good friends invited me to their best friends wedding and obviously did mention it to the couple that they were bringing people. The wedding I went to in mill hill / edgeware - London was really something, I mean most of the fellas were practically married with their wives in tow, and you could see the wedding guests were mostly close family and friends. They were all smartly dressed, no gele and native in sight, simply professional people look. You would think all the men were grooms men as in they were all wearing the same tie, and colour shirt. The DJ started out lousy, but made up later with his old school music and whatnot. I was dancing on the dance floor like there was no tommorrow, my feet were hurting, I was tired, but I didn't or couldn't go and sit down for a little while because all the songs were my songs - as my friends brother exclaimed. It got to a point, I had to take my shoe off just so that I would continue to break dance on the dance floor. I so so enjoyed my self.

But the silly video / camera man kept videoing me. As in he was always in my face. I tried my best to shake him off, but dude kept recording me. I was so self consious. Kept thinking how the bride and groom would get their wedding video and be wondering who this "shaking her thing" woman was. For a while there I was thinking maybe I need to step off the dance floor, but I was like the DJ is playing my tunes, and I wasn't about to let what he was doing intimidate me off. lol.

Anyways, the following day when the bride called my friend she had to tell her that just in case she saw this particular lady and wonders who she was on her wedding video its her friend. This really thought me a lesson, to better get your own invitation and know the people you are going to eat their rice, because you could either catch a bouquet or in my case boogy too much on the dance floor and get noticed, only for the people paying for the rice to start to wonder who you are or how they let you in. lol.

I'm still in the UK, really enjoying myself. I am now at my parents, and will be leaving for manchester in a few days.

In a witness protection program for my own safety

So far, so near, so out of place.

Then one Sunday morning, in the quiet suburbia streets of Radford in a wonderful church a revelation which quickened my spirit and renewed my resolve was heard through my ears, which resounded in my Spirit and revived my soul. I finally realized, that I was not being punished for what I used to do or did, but because God must increase in my life and in my circumstance, I have had to face such. That even if I had given my life to God, God will and can still allow me to be in my prison, in isolation – John 3 vs. 22 – 26; 30; That sometimes we face situations, just so that God will be praised in our lives. You see prison is a place of isolation / bondage / can’t get out or in unless you are allowed – a place where you are left limited.

Then I realized that God had isolated me for a reason, a purpose – That He has put me in the right place so that He can speak to me. It dawned on me that I had been fighting situations that I haven’t been able to win, with the intension that I am prevented from trying to fix my problems. He brought to my remembrance that no weapons formed against me will prosper – but in the mean time, he has placed me in isolation in a witness protection program. But to remember that the witness protection program was only temporary, as he has gone already ahead to fix my stuff, and has brought me to a point where I only have Him to talk to and pray to, no distractions, disturbance, wondered thoughts, just me and Him. That the situation I find my self in has occurred because God must increase in my life.

My jaws fell, that aha moment – that realisation, that it wasn’t until John went to Jail that Jesus went to Galilee – That only when I decrease can God start moving in my life – Isaiah 40 vs. 31. So I am thankful to be chosen, and in my weakness and struggles God is made more perfect. And therefore rejoice all the more for His favour in allowing me to go though the building process in perfecting that which He started in me.

UPDATE

I guess y'all know I've been on some sort of training - carrying on with my spending of the food card they gave here, but WALK everywhere - in a bid to loose 5kg in 4 months. The last time I managed to loose 3kg in 6months, which was awsome. So anyways I remember telling a friend I was hoping to loose 5kg by just "trecking" - he laughed, he said nne, you will have to do more. Then I told myself, even if its 1kg, its better than anything.

So last week of June I started. 23rd of June to be precise. Weighed in yesterday 15th of August, I have lost 3kg - 6.6lbs in less than 2 months, and still 2 more months left. I am so happy. No wonder I've been looking so good in those jeans, I just thought it was a coincidence.lol. Anyways I celebrated by doing a 1 and half hrs walk.

So, I've decided not to overly give a positive comment

Yep,

this is a really short post about my 1 day and 2 night’s trip to Naples. Because my younger brother and sister were around my end on their tour of continental Europe, we decided to go visit Naples. Mind you, my reasons were obviously different to theirs. I went to spend some serious money on garms, they probably wanted to see the ships, the marines, what Naples is really known for.

The journey was a very tedious and tiresome one. We didn't reserve our seats, so the coach we had fully occupied and really stretched out in and was getting some serious sleep in;, well the owners came and used Italian to bamboozle me and tried to kick us out, can you imagine. Obviously my sister who is fluent in French, figured out what they were saying (French and Italian have same origin) and had to tell them that I "non capisco" them, they calmed down and actually, started to respect us / me. Wow, the power of being an English speaker in Italy.

Anyways, the people came in apologised, sat down put the lights on and started talking – like having a serious conversation at 2am at night. My goodness. The cheek. Anyways, the Lord said I should give them my other cheek to slap after they had slapped the first one. I was exhausted after the train journey, hit the market got some serious stuff for my mum, she will be looking supper lovely when I see her next and got me those super fly sexy jeans. Oh and before I got them, the shop keeper at one shop told me I was FAT. Can you imagine? The Italian sizes are different from other European sizes, so I was taking my UK size 10 (four in number) jean, when this woman took three from my hand and told me, that I can never fit in them. I was like “whara hell”; she pointed at my bum, and spoke in Italian. My translators translated what the woman was saying to me. In the end I forcefully took one off her, tried them, and got the shock of my life. “YeeY Mogbe”, after all my walks, exercises, fasting (not in the biblical sense); I still can’t fit into size 10 again in this country. I left that shop with my money, and went and got me some D&G ones instead. But even though they were XL, I still look fly in them.

So apart from the 2 pairs of Jeans, a very nice silver bag, plenty of nice tops and my mums shoes and bags galore, that was all I went all the way to Napoli / Naples to buy. It was the month of august and on a Saturday, so most of the traders were already in some beach in Italy on holiday. So not as successful as I had wished, ooh well. We definitely reserved our seats on the way back, what a comfy journey. We saw Rome, Florence and many more cities. Oh and we didn't get to the harbours. The place was a dump, and the train station area reminded me of "Ajegunle" market in Lagos. My brother once said civilization is a concept of the mind. Just because we are in Europe does not infer that there will always be nice places. Many places in Nigeria are way better than most places in the western world.

Because of your Grace

Thank God for Journey Mercies,

Thank God for Protection,

Thank God for His loving Kindness,

Thank God for His healings,

and Peace of mind.

Most of all Thank God for Jesus Christ, only because of Him I can finish this race.

Today was kind of a sumbre day. Not sure why. I miss him.

You are the only one I need!!

I am so excited that we are nearing the end of 2007. You probably think I'm crazy right, like we are in the month of July, just past the middle of the year, what rubbish maths I'm I doing, I'm showing I'm a Math illiterate. LOL.

But the calendar I'm using is the Jewish calendar, which starts in October. So I've decide to do a run down series of the promises God gave me for this 2007, and how He has been faithful in bringing them to pass, even though we have less than two months left. Yey.

The Plan

So when I entered my 2007, I entered it believing it was my year of release. I had survived 2006, and had entered 2007, where seven represented a number for dominion, a number for rest. It was now my year of unbelievable, undeniable, unstoppable favour of God. However prior to entering into it, since I believed that it was my year of such favours, I had to prepare myself. No one goes to a dinner party at the Ritz in a swim wear, one need to make sure they are wearing the proper attire. Therefore the same applies here.

I realised that even though my favour had nothing to do with merit and deeds, my actions can still affect how much of it I get, and therefore I needed a PLAN. What I'm I trying to say?, that the favour of God will rest upon my life as long as I obey Him that sent me, as disobedience causes a reduction of the Favour. Take for example, Jonah - His life was spared (because God loved him anyways), but because he disobeyed he had to continue the rest of his journey in the belly of a fish, when it could have been a first class affair - Jonah 1 vs. 12 -17.

Another example is the life of Asa, King of Judah - 2nd Chronicles 14 - 16. He had ruled for 40 years, most of which He was not at war with anyone. Because he sought the Lord, the Lord gave him rest (2nd Chron. 14 vs. 7b). In seeking the Lord he removed everything detestable in his life that would bring a barrier in his relationship with God, repaired / worked on his broken relationship with God (2nd Chron. 15 vs. 8), and made a covenant with God (2nd Chron. 15 vs. 14). He was encouraged to continue the work on his relationship with God, because he believed Him faithful who was going to reward his efforts (2 Chron. 15 vs. 7).

However, towards the end he had become complaisant, took God for granted, forgotten all the wonders and good things God did for him, that when he needed help, he sought help elsewhere. In the end he was likened to a man who was running aimlessly (1 Corinth. 9 vs. 26), because one would wonder why all the original efforts if he wasn't going to press on till the finishing line. For I do not want to be that man that preached to many and yet did not qualify for the prize. Like the pace setters in long distance races that goes into strict training, end up leading the pack, only not to get to the finishing line.

Therefore, since the eyes of the Lord ranges throughout the earth to strengthen those who are for Him (1 Chron. 16 vs. 9), and show Himself strong, I too want Him to continue showing Himself strong and bringing to pass all His promises for me. For this reason, my plan for 2007 is to be a woman who pleases God so that He will always be with me (2 Chron. 15 vs. 2). So I pray Dear Lord, do not forsake me, even if I do all the time behave rubbishy; for indeed you are all I need.

So dear readers, we still have a couple of months still left, what plan do you have? Next time I will be touching on how I became successful. I know check me out, thinking am all that!!

UPDATE
I have joined the choir at the church in Verona..hehehe.. I couldn't bear the noise anymore, I am going to show and teach them how its supposed to be done. Had a wonderful first meeting with them yesterday, they know they sound VERY TERRIBLE and are willing to get whatever help needed.

We have started voice training and excercise. YIPPEE. I have just rememeberd I have been placed here for such a time as this. I didn't say I was a great singer, but I have sung in concerts with pros. So here to more work for God.lol.

Group of 23 South Korean Christians Kidnapped

This morning, for no reason at all, I was woken up to pray, but not in a langauge I could understand. All I remembered was the feeling of how weird it was.

I have now received an excerpt from the pastor of my church in manchester concerning:

Group of 23 South Korean Christians Kidnapped at Gunpoint by Taliban Deadline Extended to Tuesday Evening:

please keep them in your prayers. I have recently had this overwhelming feeling to pray more for the saints and the missionaries, and its sad to see this happen.

Please fellow bloggers, lets all pray a prayer of agreement that the Lord will show up for these people.

And like the 3 young Jews in the old testament said to King Nebuchadnezzar in - Daniel 3 vs. 16 -18 - "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." - , regardless of what they do, we will not stop worshipping our God.

So He Loves me Still

Jeremiah 31 vs. 3 - 4

3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, ^[Or LORD has appeared to us from afar^] saying:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

4 I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel [life of a stranger].
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful".

UNSUAL Places

So I promised posts from the lessons I’ve learnt previously, but I feel this one is more pertinent for today.

I had to move out of via brenerro very quickly. I had started getting hassled by the street chicas I meet at 11pm on my way home. They never physically attacked me, but they would stare me down and try to intimidate by breaking my walk as I walk on the pavement where they worked. I am told it’s because they think I’m trying to steal their spot. I had promised myself to find an apartment and leave, but I was too lazy to find one, couldn't understand a word of Italian - I have project deadlines no time - and instead of giving a landlord 3 months rent as a deposit, plus another huge amount to activate phone line, electric gas and water I would rather pay it towards my mortgage which I am yet to lease out. So as you can see I am a tight ward and playing with my life.. lolol.. Anyways I met this wonderful family who go out of their way to make sure I am happy - you remember my 21 yrs old friend. So her mum found me a room at her friend’s house, and I moved in. Shoot, all I pay is rent; I’ve given myself till October to find a very nice place.

So where was I,

Yes, it appears that these people I’m staying with found their way to Italy via the mountains of morocco, and because of their very poor poor background got involved with a madam that helped them come here. I remember thinking how far apart our worlds were, and how in normal circumstances I may / would never have walked with them. I pondered on this thought for a while, and I started to wonder was I so proud that I had to be brought down a peg or two, or did I think too much of myself that I am to be taught a lesson. I asked my mum this, and you know how mothers are, she said that I have always thought less of myself and the Lord was using this opportunity to show me how He has favoured me and how much He loves me that He has raised me so high. I felt a little better, but I never stopped thinking of this. I mean I should not judge, so I shouldn't be bothered what these people do with their lives, but then I remembered the saying...show me you companions and I'll tell you who you are..lolol..

So yesterday, it finally all made sense; remember the story of David?

In 1 Samuel 22 vs. 1 – 2 : – David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father's household heard about it, they went down to him there. 2 All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their leader. About four hundred men were with him – God had used the discontented, the ones with problems, in distress and debt to bless him. He used rejected people to bless David. These people's beginnings were nothing to talk of, yet God used them to secure David's destiny. Even though David was in a cave, hidden from the world - he was sought out. His destiny located him, the favour of God, His mercy and Grace located him. His light shone so brightly that his blessings located him.

I then realised that through my meetings with these people that God was moulding me so that I will be a blessing to others, and that I am in the right location at the right time. That He’s using these people to bless me; Like in Judges 11 vs. 3 - So Jephthah fled from his brothers and settled in the land of Tob, where a group of adventurers gathered around him and followed him - how God used the people Jephthah will not normally associate with to bless him. And that I am in the right place at the right time - Like the ordinary man in 2nd Samuel 6 vs. 6 - 12;10 He was not willing to take the ark of the LORD to be with him in the City of David. Instead, he took it aside to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite. 11 The ark of the LORD remained in the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite for three months, and the LORD blessed him and his entire household - , whose house the ark of the Lord was left in, because his house just happened to be there.

Therefore, I thank God that He loves me so that He has given me much favour with everyone I meet, even if on the outside it may appear they have nothing to offer. So as I conclude my prayer is to ask God to continue His holding of my hand as I step into the great things He has in store for me in Jesus Name. Amen.

Hope you have a Great week. Mine has already started with a blast.

wait just a little while, its beautiful you'll see....I promise you.

I am encouraged, because God is ever present in my life, and teaching me lessons from whatever activities I undertake. I have always heard from my mum, pastors and friends that I just need to be patient, and its only a matter of "when" before my life as a wanderer is settled. However inspite of this some days were always more difficult than the others, and whenever I would speak negatively I hadn't really realised that I was giving the devil dominion over my words, which ultimately he would always try to use to defeat me.

This is a diversion from the posts I had promised but I really needed to post this. We had a visitor from seattle in our centre, and he was particularly interested in hiking. So I sugessted we go mountain climbing, however, we couldn't decide on time which one to go on, so on the day of the hike chose to climb mount bondone, very close to the village of sardania. We had taken the cable car for 700 meters to get to the village and decided to hike from there. Unbeknown to us (me), the walk was a very steep and dangerous one. Imagine climbing a 5000 storey sky scrapper using a stair case that had no bridges in between (well this example is pale in comparrison to what went on), carrying a back pack with drinks in it. Five minutes into the walk we had lost our path, ended up on another one and was literally walking throught the forest. 100 meters into the mountain hike, I was absolutely exhusted, and could no longer lift myself up. I decided to quit, stop and rest. And asked the rest to go on, while I returned to the cable car. But they encouraged me to walk on. Even at times, they slowed their speed, carried my back pack, which allowed me to find a stick to help with the walk. The walk was steep, slippery and most of the time we were at the edge of mountain, and if I lost my footing was defintaely going down.

Many times during the walk I would tell God, that if I were to fall and die, this would mean sucide cause He never sent me and I was uneccessary putting my life in danger. There were many times that I could no longer walk and gripped with fear, because we had lost the second path and was now in the middle of nowhere on the mountain and it didnt look like anyone had gone through the way we were going before. After 700meters up, 3 paths and 3hrs later we found a deserted village, and a resturant, that only fed people that had booked rooms with them. We found favour with them and they fed us. The next bus from there was in 5 hrs, so the group opted to continue to the top. I was very reluctant to follow them, but seing as I spoke no italian, I wasn't going to be left behind alone. The last walk was the most dangerous of all, but I made it to the top. When I got there, it was the most beautiful scene my eyes had ever behold.

For the first time in the walk, after 1,200meters climbed and 6hrs of solid climbing, the pain, the tears, the missed footings, the suicide watch, I had finally arrived, and it finally made sense. It was about enduring the walk, the journey, withstanding the pain, and forging ahead. The refusal to be intimidated, the bagages that slowed the pace of my walk, and the crying. The Fears, the indecisveness, the doubts, it finally all made sense. If I had stopped 100meters into my walk, I would never have seen what God had for me at the top.

As I got to the top, I realised that the hike wasn't all about me climbing the mountain of bondone, which had several peaks, but about the journey that is my life, and I had a new revelation. I have a destination, and its a beautiful one, but I just need to push that bit more, lift myself up just that one more, regardless of the weight / bagages I have been carrying, surround myself with encouraging people who are not willing to quit along with me, and know without a shadow of a doubt that I will get there, its only a matter of when. Yes I had heard this messages several times before, but for the first time it really made sense. It really applied to me, it was no longer a sermon, but a trully possible reality. This weekend was yet the best of them all. My end is expected, and wow what an end it would be.

Hope all is well with you, and you have been encouraged. I LOVE it when things like this happen. I sort of mentioned the message to my collegues, who obvioulsy are athiests, and I wasn't sure what they thought of it, but I KNOW what I think of it.

Have a supper week all. I Know I am.

I have a stalker

There is this silver alfa romeo, that parks under the first street light at the begining of the via brenero road. I have to walk on this road to go to my hotel apartment. The first night I noticed this car, it kept veering off the via brenero road to park as if to ask direction from the passers by, every time I walked alitle past it. But he would say nothing as I walked past. And he repeated this 4 times, parking at the entrance of a shop off the road, and next at the entrance of a petrol station, with his engine running, as if to say here I am.

Anyways after all the veering and sudden parking, I would refuse to look into the car to find out what the madness was. It was the second time that night, a car had stopped. The first was a brand new BMW, and he did say "ciao prego" as I walked past, but my mum taught me not to speak to starngers so I didn't reply.

So last night, I was off to the apartment again, where this same car started of on the original parking space. I hadn't noticed it until when it chimed his keys to make sure I noticed him as I walked past the parked car. I was startled, and looked, and there it was the alfa romeo, and same reg. I became frightened. He repeated his moves, this time was parked so close to the walk way I was sure he was going to mowe me over. As I walked wondering what this man was intending to do, two other cars drove past with the passengers screaming. I started to run. But then I stopped, I said to myself, this is a safe place, obvioulsy this man has mistaken my identity. Only 15 minutes up the road, there were even pretier girls, scantily dressed and he could have any of them, why me.

The nature of the way I've always worked is my mind work better in the evening, and even if I start work at 8am, I actually dont get started till 2pm onwards. So I normally work till 9pm without realising the time. Anyways, I promised my self to leave early today, say 8pm, I wouldn't wish my past few days experience on any one. I am finally begining to think, I'm not as intimidating as I used to be. What has happened. God please deliver from the hands of these people.

My Life - about the Favour of God

Why name myself the life of a stranger called me? I started blogging when I arrived in blacksburg Virginia, and wasn't quite sure what to do with myself.

So as I walked through blacksburg side roads and its hills, I started to wonder why the Lord would want me here over the period I spent there. For many months I wondered and really prayed about it, and asked Him to teach me whatever lessons I needed to learn and quickly too. But I guess with our relationship, I was always too hard of hearing. A week just before I was due to return to the UK, I attended an amazing conference at the Radford Church of God, and there the Lord spoke to me clearly. I realised finally that my life have always been about the FAVOUR of God. And even though I might have to travel on the road that many don't travel on, this is the life God had ordained for me.

So since I love blogging so much, and Love God, and find that the only time I don't querry Him and accuse Him of making life unbearable for me lol, is only when I'm in His word. So I've decided to post the lessons I learnt during my time over there. Hopefully when I'm done I can also move over to lessons I've learnt here in Italy (seing as my mind being idle is too damaging to my walk with God). I have a really good feeling about this.

So come on over, I have something to tell you - GOD'S FAVOUR IS IMMUTABLE AND CANNOT BE REVERSED.

I never sent you!!

Hope all your weekend was fabulous. Mine was, in a weird sort of way. After a wonderful time on TERC on Friday, I was feeling very wonderful (as sisbee and akelcalledwonder would always say). So I decided to walk home. I was reliably informed that because I'm Nigerian and have been used to my Nigerian dishes, the Italian food I have started to really enjoy would cause me to gain weight. And it’s not an option not to eat their food. You see I have a food card that can only be used at restaurants, and it would be foolish not to use it. So the Nigerian in me is maxing it out. lol.

As I had previously described my office is on one the mini mountains here in Trento (approximately 400meters), and on the bus will take approx. 20mins to get into town before changing buses, and a further 10 mins before getting to my hotel turned apartment. So on Friday evening, it was a lovely evening, and I constrained a colleague to take the walk with me, and he reluctantly did as I wanted us to leave at 8pm, when he would leave at 6pm on a Friday. And what a beautiful walk it was. The path was very steep, surrounded by nature, fresh water stream with live animals...lol...ok fishes, and fruits, I saw apples, grapes, cherry, wild berries, wild strawberries, fig trees and its fruit, and many I can't say Ive ever heard of. Past the train tracks and down. The walk like I said was a down hill walk and it made the walk very pleasant.

So the next day. I decided to go to work, and because of the pleasant walk the night before, I decided to walk and not get the bus. What a big mistake. I had done 25 mins, when I realised I could no longer walk upwards on the path. It was so steep that I kept stopping every 10mins for a break. My bum, legs, thighs, you name it was hurting. At times I was walking backwards up the mountain because I could no longer do it going forward. The path was so deserted; I thought to myself that even if I were to stop, no one could come by to rescue me in the next coming hrs, so I struggled on until I made it to the top, to my workplace. Took me 2hrs, a walk that was a 50mins walk. But I made it no less.

I was exhausted with pain, and starving. So I took myself to the restaurant, and my, did I eat. Because of the festive weekend here, I had arranged to meet a couple of people at nine, and could not leave on time. So I missed my bus, and you name it I had to walk back. The walk back wasn’t the problem; I had to jog because I had people waiting for me. So I jogged all the way (ok ok, most of the way) and stayed out till 2am watching the water and fire presentation. On Sunday morning, I was too tired to wake up, and the bus only runs hourly on a Sunday, well you figured it out, missed the bus, and had to walk to the station, a 25mins walk to get my train to get to my church that is like 100km away.

So all in all, no one asked me to do all this, but as I wage war against gaining weight by eating healthy Italian food, the fight must continue. And even if it kills me, I must keep up the fight. So today I am ready for the fight. I am in my adidas triainers (obviously everywhere hurts too much to wear anything else), backpack and very comfy wear. I did get the bus to work today, but will be walking home. Will try and eat the berries along the path today. I hear they are very tasty.

Prov. 23 vs. 6 -7

"⁶Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: ⁷For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee".

O can I be me!!

I am torn between envy and lazyness. I keep remembering the parable of the talents. There are many who make do with their one talents (even when surrounded with many with more than one talent), I have been given much and yet all I have is ungratefulness. I complain, I shudder, I lust, I harbour ill feelings, why must he/she succeed and Im still struggling. God I pray, please deliver me, spring me out of this thinking. We all have been given gifts, and they have been given to us for a purpose, a purpose for which we must search out day and night. I have good intent, I get easily excited, but I seem to run out of steam even before I had begun. Which then takes me back to the vicious cycle of being stuck in the runt between envy and lazyness.

I read in His word in Proverbs 18 vs. 9 - one who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. I say to myself, when and how did I become a sister to one who destroys. It was when I took my eyes off the word of God. It was when I chose to compare my life to the life of those around me. It was when He gave me my talents, and I refused to make use of them because I felt they were not enough compared to oby's or joys, or bs, or jenny's and countless others. It was when I complained tirelessly of how He has dealt me a bitter blow, and when my day break came, I still complained it was too little too late.

Why oh merciful God do you have time for me. Why must you love me so. Why must you never leave me nor forsake me. Why must you shower me with favour yet all I do is spit back on your face for the Great and awsome things you have done for me. Why must you lift me up so that my feet doesn't touch the floor and cover my shame, yet all I do in return is "hiss" which is then followed by "about time". Great gracious and most wonderful God. Please do not deal with me as my sin and attitude deserves. Help me be more like the "me" you created me to be, to be more like Christ. Oh How I love you Lord. But I know you wouldn't know it with the way I carry on.

Im sorry dear Lord.

So I found a church in VERONA

Sometimes I thank God for my chatty ways. I saw this "aunty" at my regular bus stop where I caught my buses home, and went on to greet her. I found out she was Nigerian, and I asked her about churches where English was spoken. She told me that churches here tend to be Catholics and they speak only Italian as their population don't speak or understand English, but she had a daughter who went to a church behind "Brenero".

I got so excited, took her number and called her. She introduced me to her daughter, and she was a delight. A very pleasant 21 yr old. Well, her daughter told me that she no longer went to the church behind "Brenero" but have found a very good church in Verona. Well I was a little surprised. You see Verona is like 100 kilometres from Povo, and I couldn't imagine me going all that way just for church. Back in blacksburg, I did 30 miles to go to church, I couldn't imagine any further that 30 miles.

Anyhow, we popped on the train went there, and I must say it was a typical Nigerian church. The choir members were all women, they screamed into the microphone which was so loud that I was almost deafened by the noise. I have had this same experience before, how can I forget the wonderful church in Newark New Jersey. It was a very small church of possibly 30 people.

"But if the fruit is good, eat of it". They prayed a lot which I liked, but it was mostly a binding and casting geared prayer. The Pastor preached on relationships, but there was something he said, and I realised that I was at the right place.

It might not be what I'm used to, or I might have to miss the praise and worship bit, because of the noise - [anyways to those that can't sing, God did say make a joyful noise - so their noise is good] - but I believe I have been placed at this place for such a time as this, and thank God for the help he has brought into my life.

Did I tell you that the pleasant girl has offered to show me around, take me shopping, basically made herself available. The Lord indeed is faithful. Psalm 32 vs. 8 is definitely in motion.

Oh really, can I pass for a Hottie?!

Blog Idol rocks. I am so loving it. Who would have thought so much fun can be derived from such. And I can only vote for a favourite, not more.

So back to my main story. You would think seing a police car in your neighbourhood would make you feel a tad safe. Well on friday on my way home, after trying to chat to the girls who were hanging around the corner of my apartment scantily dressed at 11pm at night - who by the way thought I was trying to solicit them for a service, could you imagine - anyways that story is for another day - a police car drove by and the men in the car really smilled at me. I wasnt quite sure what all that was about, I mean I've spoken to police men which ever counry I've been to, they are very good with directions and help, but I felt this was alittle different.

So anyways , I said Ciao back, and continued my walk. Walked past those girls again, cause I sorta missed my turn and had to walk back (so it would look like I was walking back and forth..lol), said my hellos again and went home. The next day I happened to mention this to my collegue at work who told me that the police men knew all the girls in my district and must have thought I was a new girl walking the block Bwahahahaah. Could you imagine. I was very well and smartly dressed, only below the knee showing. And that they are well within their right to ask the girls for their services as its very legal here. I was sort of flabbagasted, like can I really pass for a road side chica.

And I had to go home so late, cause I stayed out on the phone box chatting to my mum. Obvioulsy not going to try going home in the dark again. You just never know the sort of stories I might be telling. But Im really begining to love it here. The views really are spectacular, and Im only 4hrs away on the train from Munich. Might try visitng continental europe on the train.

Happy voting. NaijaDude rocks. Miss T, can't wait to hear your next piece.

UPDATE

I am so excited, and I don't know why, maybe its because temmylicious is finally settled, maybe its because I have this indiscribable joy in my heart. But I know its becauuse God is with me, I just want to go out and shout scream and dance on the top of my street to whoever would listen about the goodness of God. He really is a good God, Did you know that. He really is somthing. Ok, I have 5 job offers, can you imagin that. This my God will not kill me with Favour.

God is Amazingly too much and wonderfully wonderful

Ok,

so I called home yesterday crying to my mum, how I hated it here. I send text to everyone that would listen about how depressed I am. Sent my number to everyone that would listen about why they should call me before I harm myself..lol..Nija bloke laughing at me, because of all the shakara I did for them in the states, about how I was leaving.. my wonderful temmylicious sending me ogbono soup and her love.. and finally my mama calling me to pack my things and come home, saying which kain job be this, my pikin come home, and apply for new job. Telling me to forget my big pay offer in Japan, and free rent, and free tax, telling me its too far.. you never know I might cry again and then i wont be able to come home..lol..

So I took her advice, applied for this post at Rice State univeristy in Texas, sharp sharp the prof. replies and wants to meet me. I was like, ok, I will either chose cambridge or Texas.

So I went to this meeting yesterday, realised if I took away my dislike of this place, and not having any phone or internet at my apartment, this place isn't all that bad. I still didn't care, Ive started packing for my return to England, when I read the word of God last night on Psalm 32 vs. 8. "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you".

The word didn't really filter or go in. As I returned to my office today, to read over my contract, determined to try and publish two papers this year to compensate for my moving around, I felt the need to search for nigerians in Italy, and what I found amazed me. And it took me back to the lady I met yesterday.
.............................
On my way to work yesterday, I had gotten lost on the bus 7, and was going round north of italy in circles. I met this black girl on the bus, but I didnt say a word. After 20mins on the bus, and after I had realised that I was indeed lost again, I asked her what bus I was in, she spoke english very well with a nigerian accent. I asked her where she was from, she screamed nigeria, I wasn't sure why she would say it in such a manner, however I concluded it could be for the reason that there were a few black people around verona / trento who appeared to be refugees from warturn countries. I thanked her very much, but before I ran for the next bus, I asked her what part of nigeria she was from and what she thought of life living in Italy. She screamed benin, and shook her head, saying it would be better if i returned to where I came from. Paying me a compliment, that I looked too good to be or to stay in this country.
................................
Fast forward to today, now.. I work for Micro****, but in a university, so I am paid by micro**** but I can still have an academic carreer, i.e. go up to become a full professor.

So after I had done my search I found out that there were alot of nigerian girls very young girls who are sent over here unknowing into prostitution. They probably have no hope, and probably feel that God has abandoned them. Something spoke to my spirit, pray for these girls. MY GOODNESSES. For the first time in this country, I feel like I have a mission, something I can do for God. I had always complained why all the coloured girls I see in this place all dress like street chicas, I can see why.

For the first time, I have decided to stay, I was indeed sent here for a reason, and I will not leave, until God uses me to make some difference, even if it is only through prayers.Taurean Minx said something about doing your bit, I think God was indirectly trying to tell me about waiting here for a while. It really isn't my time yet to shine, but I can do a lot in hidden places or where ever I am.

Stay well all.

Trully God is good, He spoke to me concerning entering my rest. But its only possible to only when I obey. So Lord here I am, send me.

Im here, and Im sad!!

You would think all this move is wonderful and Im loving every moment. I hate to be a representative of an ingrate, but it appears I am. I think I might have decided wrongly to come here. Maybe becausue I have options thats why Im going on like this, maybe because I know I have a better position in Okinawa that I need to decided on before the 1st of septmeber, and its a 5yrs position. I am told the japanese take is personally if you accept a position and then reject them half way.. you never know they may ban me from ever entering their country psyc.., but whatever it is I need divine intervention.

My Terc family, please keep me in your prayers. If I was sent to minister the word of God, shouldn't I be able to communicate with them and they with me. Anyhow, Im told they speak english in okinawa, and the US marines are every where.

OK, this is my complaint section done. Oh and to top is all up, Im in love with Mr OJ, and who probably doesn't know I've been feeling him for a long while now. I had hoped, this silly emotion will disapper but it hasn't. To make it worse, I was sort of telling him in codes about it, but he still did not figure it out. You know how it is ladies, we are not allowed to chase the man, so even though I'm not into all that women chasing guys (like no way), I won't lie he really is worth it. Maybe he really just sees me as his friend. Something I am an expert in. And I guess its worse now because my travels have started in earnest and all that lonley feeling has begun.

Anyhow, I need serious deliverance. Im thinking of moving to neurology. The Okinawa position is in brain analysis. What do you think people. I need a challenge, something to take my mind off Mr. OJ. But what if I don't like it in Okinawa. Im begining to dislike things. I have a mortgage, in England, and a wonderful mother to make proud, should I just sit at home for like 3 months before i decided...Serious Prayers wanted.. for slowly loosing it sista.